Amsterdam Delights (part one)

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des
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Amsterdam Delights (part one)

Postby des » Wed Dec 08, 4:13 am

We landed at Schiphol 50 minutes after we left John Lennon Airport and took the Connexxions shuttle bus to our hotel. We were over a hour early for the official check in time of 2pm but were pleasantly surprised to be told our room was ready.
I wondered what the fuck was going on when the porter took our bag and headed out of the hotel, but he explained we were in a separate building about 8 doors further down. I was a bit pissed off at first, but when we saw the view we had of the Keizersgracht canal and the big sash windows I realised the potential straight away!
A quick wash and a change of shirt later, we were on our way round to the Paradox coffeeshop which according to the map from the Coffeeshop Directory was the nearest one to us. The shop was sparsely occupied with only the woman dealer and two other customers in the place. She explained that they did 5 Euro deals of all their gear, you just got more or less weight depending on the quality so I selected 2 bags of their big hitters, the Power Plant and the White Widow, both 0.8 grams for 5 Euros.
We tried the Power Plant first, but it didn’t have much effect so quickly followed it up with a spliff of the White Widow which certainly did!
Now nicely wrecked and with the raging munchies we headed into the city centre to visit the head shops and get something to eat. We stopped at a typical Dutch café along the way and had sandwiches and beers. I ordered roast beef but regretted it when the waitress brought what appeared to be raw meat slapped between two slices of bread! At the “Old Man” just off Dam Square I picked up some nice paraphanalia including a belt buckle pipe a friend had asked me to get for him.
It was dark by now, so we bought a couple of delicious cakes from a confectioners and took them back to our hotel room and wolfed them down with a cup of tea. I lifted the heavy sash window while the Missus pegged it open at about 3 foot wide, and we sat and smoked a mixed spliff of weed while we watched the pleasure boat rides cruise past our hotel. The Missus ran the huge Jacuzzi bath while I watched two black guys “spit roast” a white bird on the porno channel. Suitably horny we both jumped in the bath and fired the fucker up. For added effect I poured all 4 bottles of the hotel's comp bubble bath in and pretty soon we couldn’t see each other for foam! We ended the session by fucking in the “doggy” position but I got a cramp in my calf just as I reached the vinegar strokes, talk about the agony and the ecstacy! Afterwards I put on the hotel bath robe and slippers and mooched around feeling like Roger Moore!
For the evening entertainment we decided to head deeper into the Jordaan. We’d never been further west than Ann Frank’s house before so this was virgin territory to us. We called in several bars packed with locals and soaked up the marvellous atmosphere along with quite a few beers before we decided to go into an Indian restaurant for something to eat. I ordered the chicken vindaloo while the Missus whimped out with a lamb saag. We washed it down with a bottle of the house white, which came from Antigua, and believe it or not it was really good!
Thoughts now turned to blow, but the only coffeeshop we passed didn’t have seats, only video arcade games, so we walked back towards the city centre and purely by chance happened upon the Utopia coffeeshop. The place was pretty busy with maybe a dozen locals watching footy on the telly. I ordered a couple of coffees and asked to see the menu board. The dearest thing they had was the Isolator hash at 18 Euros a gram, and despite the dealer’s warning that it was for experienced smokers only I scored some anyway. Ten minutes later I was more smashed than I’d been in 15 years, and that was off a quarter gram joint shared between 2 people! What a fuckin’ lightweight!
I had thought of carrying on over to the R.L.D. to view the ladies and have a few more beers, but when we left the Utopia I was overcome with paranoia and a feeling I’d float away if I let go of my wife’s arm, so we headed back to the hotel bar and pissed the barman off by not taking his hints that the bar shut at 1am. We finally flopped into bed about 1-45 and as usual when in A’dam I went off to sleep with a huge smile on my face as I contemplated what the next day had in store for us!

Peace, Des.
Last edited by des on Wed Dec 08, 4:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby sdshadow » Wed Dec 08, 4:29 am

Thanks for such a personal post. Great terminology in the descriptions.

Can't wait for day 2!

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Postby Johannes » Wed Dec 08, 5:53 am

Des,

That was one rockin' trip report my man, way to go!!!

And John Lennon Airport!!! Hadn't heard about it before. Their motto is: "Above us only sky." That's a beautiful thing. Wow!!!

Johannes

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Postby docski » Wed Dec 08, 8:53 pm

Nice report. Always good to hear about the guys having a good time with their Mrs. But did I miss it...what was the hotel you stayed at? Could you give us an update as to what that was like?

Doc

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Postby des » Thu Dec 09, 3:36 am

docski wrote:Nice report. Always good to hear about the guys having a good time with their Mrs. But did I miss it...what was the hotel you stayed at? Could you give us an update as to what that was like?

Doc


Doc, I didn't really want to say as I'd like to stay there again, but what the fuck, it was the Toren, and it was excellent!

Peace, Des.

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Postby des » Thu Dec 09, 12:02 pm

Johannes wrote:Des,

That was one rockin' trip report my man, way to go!!!

And John Lennon Airport!!! Hadn't heard about it before. Their motto is: "Above us only sky." That's a beautiful thing. Wow!!!

Johannes


It was plain old Liverpool Airport till the city of his birth honoured him by renaming it after him. Yoko Ono unveiled a rather nice bronze statue of the man in the reception hall, at the official opening ceremony a couple of years ago! It's the norh west base for the Easyjet company who are less than half the price of KLM and British Airways.

Peace, Des.

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Postby docski » Thu Dec 09, 2:44 pm

des wrote:
docski wrote:Nice report. Always good to hear about the guys having a good time with their Mrs. But did I miss it...what was the hotel you stayed at? Could you give us an update as to what that was like?

Doc


Doc, I didn't really want to say as I'd like to stay there again, but what the fuck, it was the Toren, and it was excellent!

Peace, Des.


Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me.


Doc

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Postby wEEDmAN » Fri Dec 10, 1:21 pm

I f**kin hate cramp in the calf- >yow!<

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Postby dapoopa » Tue Dec 21, 3:16 pm

Thanks for the detailed trip report. Liked the bit about Barney's. Turns out my friend who lives in Amsterdam just moved into a new apartment on the same street. He says the place is sort of a greasy spoon that gives off a pagan caveman vibe at times with all the stoned tourists, but whatever. All I know is that they have been winning the Cannabis Cup for the past several years and that must count for something. I definitely will check the place out, as it is one of the few 'major' coffeeshops I have yet to visit.

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Really Good Des

Postby LastHamlet » Wed Jan 05, 6:55 pm

Dam fine report Des, and really interesting way you put things. That Utopia is a quite little retreat when one needs it the most. However, I hate they did not have that Iso when I was there. The soon to be owner at the time, Ben, told us that they got tired of picking people up off the floor, so they had decided not to sell it for a while.
Great insight Des, Thanks a Bunch,
Best Regards,
LH

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Re: Amsterdam Delights (part one)

Postby muckypup » Wed Jan 05, 9:08 pm

des wrote:The Missus ran the huge Jacuzzi bath while I watched two black guys “spit roast” a white bird on the porno channel. Suitably horny we both jumped in the bath and fired the fucker up. For added effect I poured all 4 bottles of the hotel's comp bubble bath in and pretty soon we couldn’t see each other for foam! We ended the session by fucking in the “doggy” position but I got a cramp in my calf just as I reached the vinegar strokes, talk about the agony and the ecstacy! Afterwards I put on the hotel bath robe and slippers and mooched around feeling like Roger Moore!


Desmond, I'm all for sexually orientated trip reports when their subject matter includes accounts of toasting the superstars of the Wallen. However, if I wanted to read accounts of your vinegar strokes after shunting your old lady in the bath, I'd buy a copy of Razzle, thank you very much.

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Re: Really Good Des

Postby des » Wed Jan 05, 11:19 pm

LastHamlet wrote:Dam fine report Des, and really interesting way you put things. That Utopia is a quite little retreat when one needs it the most. However, I hate they did not have that Iso when I was there. The soon to be owner at the time, Ben, told us that they got tired of picking people up off the floor, so they had decided not to sell it for a while.
Great insight Des, Thanks a Bunch,
Best Regards,
LH


The Isolator hash was awesomely strong! I can well believe people hit the deck after smoking it!

Peace, Des.

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Re: Amsterdam Delights (part one)

Postby des » Wed Jan 05, 11:35 pm

muckypup wrote:
des wrote:The Missus ran the huge Jacuzzi bath while I watched two black guys “spit roast” a white bird on the porno channel. Suitably horny we both jumped in the bath and fired the fucker up. For added effect I poured all 4 bottles of the hotel's comp bubble bath in and pretty soon we couldn’t see each other for foam! We ended the session by fucking in the “doggy” position but I got a cramp in my calf just as I reached the vinegar strokes, talk about the agony and the ecstacy! Afterwards I put on the hotel bath robe and slippers and mooched around feeling like Roger Moore!


Desmond, I'm all for sexually orientated trip reports when their subject matter includes accounts of toasting the superstars of the Wallen. However, if I wanted to read accounts of your vinegar strokes after shunting your old lady in the bath, I'd buy a copy of Razzle, thank you very much.


Good to see you back MP, even though I think you're a cunt! Did you bump in to "Jimmy" on your travels?

Peace, Des.

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Re: Amsterdam Delights (part one)

Postby muckypup » Thu Jan 06, 8:12 am

des wrote:Good to see you back MP, even though I think you're a cunt! Did you bump in to "Jimmy" on your travels?


Surprisingly not. I did undertake a good hour of surveillance from my luxury hotel room, though. A dossier of 'Spot the Jambo' photos are coming to a website near you soon.

I wonder if Salts got some smelly fingers down the youth club on NYE?


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