Never Mind the Bollocks, Day 2

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a bollocks
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Never Mind the Bollocks, Day 2

Postby a bollocks » Sat Mar 20, 5:08 pm

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!

(wait for it......wait FOR IT!) .......oh. Only Noon. ....NOON???!!!??? Shit. I slept for 10 hours. ...hmmmmm.... that bed looks comfy, it WAS comfy. GT @ 4:00. Must move. Must ..... hunh? Pipe. ooooooooooooooo....Hussen hash. wooooooooo. Crystals. ohh.

........(i love this town).....

I need to shower. wow. Fairly big bathroom (Dutch translation: "Toilet"). damn. It's a stall. Thank God the toilet doesn't drain into the middle like the shower. hee. I lather up. I scrub. I try to levee the flood that is my nemesis. Lordy. Oh well, they pay people to clean it up.

All clean.. time to buy a pipe at Old Injun's place.
uuuhhhhhh......hunh? Where is it? Oh well. 'tis time for a mini tour. Damn. Look at all these little CShoppes. They are kinda shady. There's one of those "Rasta" places. I might.........shit they're lookin' at me like I'm a silly white-boy. "Feets, Geb Moobin'" Onward and upward.

After an hour or so of walking.... WOW, there's Bushdoctor. Far out! (Thorb location) I know where I am! Scribble, scribble. Must return. I gotta turn north and find that stinkin' Injun.
Plod, plod, plo..........AHA! You sneaky.......shite, I passed it 5 minutes into my morning walk.
Damn... so many pipes, so little time. 6€ ain't bad. Hook me up!

Back to the hotel to fill up, nap and soon meet the Farmer and the Plumber @ Rusland @ 4.
"Come down is calling, loneliness starts sinkin' in. But I'm one, I AM ONE.... and I can see that this is me, and I will be, you'll all see, I'M THE ONE"

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FUCK! 6 O'clock. Sumbitch! That jet lag I so ignorantly poo-pooed is kickin' me. I missed my boyz. Mebbe they are at DeKuil. But first, I must find Dampkring. I must get Bubbled. I heard so much groovy stuff about the Bubble Hasj.

Out of hotel, turn right............mmmmmmm there's my Cuban store. I'll be back. Shoot, Dampkring is really close according to this map. It's right over ther.....if you're Spiderman.... So's I go down the block and turn right....FORK in the road. Well, left is communist so...............I'm left-handed.......so........this couple looks like they know what they're doin'.....
Lovely nighttime canal walk. This is so cool. That couple must think I'm a perv. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. BOO!

This is not looking good. I should made a right turn at Albuquerque. AHA! Neon! Turning right this time (left woulda been a wet one) I spy with my blood-red eye a little alley-street just up ahead, Ta-Da! My nose knows. DAMPKRING!

I "saunter" up to the weed bar. This bald-headed Dutch guy looks at me. I'm kinda polite. I always wait for the sales-person to ask " May I help you?" This baaaaastid looks at me for a minute or so and grabs the American dood behind the bar and flings him in my direction with a Dutch curse of some sort and ...................Now dammit, I purposely left my ballcap in the room. GT said it was a dead giveaway. One american to another. "May I help you?" ahhhhh........

"Bubble Hasj."
"We have three varieties"
"The best"
"Oh you mean the Indica/Sativa blend....25€/gram"
"Sold to the American"
"Good choice"
"Ooooooo, I would like a gram of this Shiva haze"
"Another good choice"

Is this so hard? Wham, bam, thank you, M'am. He throws some papers and filters towards me, a nice invitation, so I turn and think..............damn' not an empty table in sight. Oh well. Must go back I forgot my pipe.

I know exactly where I am, turn left outta Damp, another left, another left, a right to the body, the biggest Longshot Louie at Hiahleah wouldn't put a fin on my fate now.
This is the shopping alley right behind my Hotel! Now if I can just find that ...........crevasse. There it is..... any "windows"? No just trash cans and bikes. Ahh. Rokin and the Cordial. Just like a local.

"Hallo." "Good evening, Mr. Bollocks" "Dank ü wel."...... I kill me.
Thank the Kosmic IT for this elevator, this Bubble Hasj, and this bed. I will never make it out again. I will never see the light of day.... and I will never see GT & Plumby again..........................and I didn't.


<woot?
Last edited by a bollocks on Tue Mar 23, 4:14 am, edited 4 times in total.

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Postby TheGoatMan1 » Sat Mar 20, 7:24 pm

I enjoyed the report.That bubble hash is special,i wish i could have it year round.Ah well,just more reason to go back.

TheGoat

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Postby dannymac » Sat Mar 20, 10:05 pm

Hi you pal, I see you're ready for anything - Greek, Abyssinian, and Victorian styles. I see you pleasure bent for all cultures!
Yet I was sorry to hear that you missed GT and the Plumber - but you know, it all seemed to add up to somewhere you was suppose to go, something you had to see, so when you came to the giant cement lizard all lit up inside, you should have taken it for a sign, "In the next life your on your own," and it appears you couldn't wait!

But oh my anus buttwumper, it was still a great report!
Way to go a bollocks, I sure hope there is more to come.

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Postby a bollocks » Sat Mar 20, 10:19 pm

dannymac wrote:
But oh my anus buttwumper.....


I take that as a compliment.

Lordy, I'm hard up for compliments.


WOOP!

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Postby dannymac » Sat Mar 20, 10:30 pm

a bollocks wrote:
dannymac wrote:
But oh my anus buttwumper.....


I take that as a compliment.

Lordy, I'm hard up for compliments.


WOOP!
Actually a bollocks, I was hard up for cryptic Firesign references!

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Postby hank » Sun Mar 21, 3:45 am

Ahh bollocks, what a trippy report, your style of writing totally grabs me. I love walking with you through the streets of Amsterdam, I want to thank you for the cool report. Is the bubble hasj worth the money?

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Postby a bollocks » Sun Mar 21, 4:10 am

hank wrote:Ahh bollocks, what a trippy report, your style of writing totally grabs me. I love walking with you through the streets of Amsterdam, I want to thank you for the cool report. Is the bubble hasj worth the money?


Tanks Hanks.

The bubble hasj is the best hash I've ever smoked. At 25€/gram it is a bargain. I left 3/8 gram behind.

I smoked a lotta hash in the early 70's.

Dampkring's Bubble is the proverbial one-hit wonder.

Elephant-stomp.

WOOT!

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Postby jerkypete49 » Mon Mar 22, 3:33 pm

Hi a bollocks.

I enjoyed your 'report' very much. Your writing style is terrific. It reminds me of Hunter S. Thompson in "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas".

I think that ti would be very cool to wander the streets of A'dam with you, high as a kite and keeping up a running commentary. :D

Of course, I would add my own weird 'oddservations.'

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Postby jaymod » Mon Mar 22, 4:04 pm

Sounds as though you thoroughly enjoyed yourself.
Bubble hash is top of my shopping list. as well as Mekong Haze

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Postby a bollocks » Wed Mar 24, 3:37 am

jerkypete49 wrote:Hi a bollocks.

I enjoyed your 'report' very much. Your writing style is terrific. It reminds me of Hunter S. Thompson in "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas".

I think that it would be very cool to wander the streets of A'dam with you, high as a kite and keeping up a running commentary. :D

Of course, I would add my own weird 'oddservations.'


Thanks, ya joik.

Actually, I am Tom Robbins. Gt is Hunter. LH is Ken Kesey and we, all, are Channelites® and Merry Pranksters ®.

p.s. I will be in Adam Nov. 6 thru 14.

p.p.s. <dogbreath is socrates>

Woot!

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Postby a bollocks » Sat May 22, 8:15 pm

I just hadda bump this....


I need a reply from a certain girlie, on my trip reports. I just re-read all of them... nuthin.

<soon to have a life... yes I know>


makes one wonder........ ttkk... hmm

bbjj

WOOT!

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Postby caminoreal » Mon May 24, 8:29 pm

[quote="a bollocks
"Actually, I am Tom Robbins. Gt is Hunter. LH is Ken Kesey and we, all, are Channelites® and Merry Pranksters ®.

p.s. I will be in Adam Nov. 6 thru 14.

p.p.s. <dogbreath is socrates>

Woot![/quote]

Uh huh! and I'm Renee Descartes. "I toke. Therefore I am."

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Postby BlueBerry » Mon May 24, 10:03 pm

a bollocks wrote:Back to the hotel to fill up, nap and soon meet the Farmer and the Plumber @ Rusland @ 4.
"Come down is calling, loneliness starts sinkin' in. But I'm one, I AM ONE.... and I can see that this is me, and I will be, you'll all see, I'M THE ONE"


You Are The One my bollocks...

and I see you Loud and Clear,,, from now on you are Complete as you have found the other half or more rather your Best Compliment.


ttkk
BlueBerry

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Postby Old Hippie Dave » Mon May 24, 10:09 pm

BlueBerry wrote:
a bollocks wrote:Back to the hotel to fill up, nap and soon meet the Farmer and the Plumber @ Rusland @ 4.
"Come down is calling, loneliness starts sinkin' in. But I'm one, I AM ONE.... and I can see that this is me, and I will be, you'll all see, I'M THE ONE"


You Are The One my bollocks...

and I see you Loud and Clear,,, from now on you are Complete as you have found the other half or more rather your Best Compliment.


ttkk
BlueBerry



AAAAwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhh
that's so sweet

SODA

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Postby BlueBerry » Mon May 24, 10:24 pm

a bollocks wrote:I just hadda bump this....


I need a reply from a certain girlie, on my trip reports. I just re-read all of them... nuthin.

<soon to have a life... yes I know>


makes one wonder........ ttkk... hmm

bbjj

WOOT!



Oh Yeah I will see your ttkk and I will raise you to a tttk,,,


Now who has the Best Hand???
Hummmm...

BlueBerry

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Postby a bollocks » Mon May 24, 11:30 pm

BlueBerry wrote:
a bollocks wrote:Back to the hotel to fill up, nap and soon meet the Farmer and the Plumber @ Rusland @ 4.
"Come down is calling, loneliness starts sinkin' in. But I'm one, I AM ONE.... and I can see that this is me, and I will be, you'll all see, I'M THE ONE"


You Are The One my bollocks...

and I see you Loud and Clear,,, from now on you are Complete as you have found the other half or more rather your Best Compliment.


ttkk
BlueBerry


whoa. that is beautiful writing and sentiment.

deal.

bbjjppp

WOOT!

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Postby Old Hippie Dave » Tue May 25, 1:07 am

hay BB
ya know what a old hippie smells like?


DEPENDS

SODA

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Postby BlueBerry » Tue May 25, 1:19 am

Old Hippie Dave wrote:hay BB
ya know what a old hippie smells like?


DEPENDS

SODA



Well,,, Not after being drenched with the BBJJPPP....





BlueBerry

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Postby a bollocks » Tue May 25, 2:16 am

whoa.

this thread is getting cryptic.......

glad it's "members' only"

...woulda hadda couple "GIT A ROOM" posts by now.... lol

...golly.. I should bump some more posts... woooooooooo.


btw...... this bbjjppp... is it a goer?


WOOT!

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oh bollocks!

Postby BlueBerry » Wed May 26, 8:20 am

a bollocks wrote:whoa.
...woulda hadda couple "GIT A ROOM" posts by now.... lol


well now that's been taken care of ....


a bollocks wrote:...golly.. I should bump some more ppposts... woooooooooo.



woooooooooo...


a bollocks wrote:btw...... this bbjjppp... is it a goer?



uhh.. I dunno,,,
Let's See ;)


BlueBerry



WOOT!

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Postby a bollocks » Thu May 27, 5:19 am

..so according to your "location" .. you live near me.

Care to foont some flakey? Preferably with Crystals® ...

tttk



WOOT!

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Postby caminoreal » Thu May 27, 1:47 pm

a bollocks wrote:..so according to your "location" .. you live near me.

Care to foont some flakey? Preferably with Crystals® ...

tttk



WOOT!



OK you two. You've reduced this thread to drugs and sex. What's next? Rock and Roll?

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Postby a bollocks » Thu May 27, 11:46 pm

hey Camino <with the avatar.. hmm.>


I started this thread and I will reduce it to the most miniscule level possible. Just gimme time....

as to the Rock & Roll coming soon to a thread near you....

I'm in for some head-banging....


HEAD!, BANG! .. i made a funny.

Pearl Jam's "Save You" comes to mind.

yyjj


WOOT!

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Postby caminoreal » Fri May 28, 2:30 pm

a bollocks wrote:hey Camino <with the avatar.. hmm.>

WOOT!



Hey bollocks. .. whaaat?

Who's your daddy?


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