the dog's bollocks, Day One, Part One

[a bollocks]

Day One:

Late morning flight. Slept in. AAAAHHHHHHH...Nederland here I come.

Uneventful flights thanks to Mother's Little Helpers. Slept most of the way. I did see Matrix Revolutions on a 4" screen. Kinda good.

I woke up about an hour before landing at Schiphol. as I gandered out the winder, I saw some great land. Some windmills. Stuff.

I landed at 9:00am, but didn't get to my hotel until 11:30. Hmm. Could it be the 1/2 hour I sat on my luggage waiting for the #4 tram? In the wrong place? A nice ticket guy pointed me onward and upon arriving at Hotel Cordial, I noticed it was almost next door to P.G.C. Hajenius. Cubans!!!!! Woo-Hoo! Also very close to Dam Square. Nice location, friendly folks, un-asked-for upgrade to a better room, comfy bed <that would become my nemesis> and a cool view of rooftops galore. The T.V. was cool. CNN, BBC, Dutch sitcoms....LOL. I could follow along when smoking Bubble Hash, Shiva and Grey Mist Crystals together in a pipe.

I threw my shit in the room and hit the sidewalks. Sidewalks? Mebbe. I never figured that one out on some streets. Gutters? Ruts for bicycles? sheesh. I was tooting along unscathed, tho... on my way to the Grey Area. My sense of direction is finely honed. I knew where I was and I knew where North/South was. I pulled out my trusty little coffeeshoppe map and turned West.

Damn. The little alleys with life. Cool... must peep down some....later.
GREY AREA, GREY AREA is calling.

Along the way, I stop at a light, I think, on Singel. The first "lane" seems to be one way. I look both ways and concentrate on the traffic coming "one-way", they turn, the light starts to change anyway, so I move forward ........"OOOOOOOOOOOPPPPP!!!!!!!!"

.....is what I hear. I had stepped right in front of a bicycler traveling the wrong way and nearly got discomboobulated. I quickly muttered, "Sorry" and travelled onward.

Surpises of all SURPISES. Grey Area is closed. It is 11:45am. Must open @ noon. We shall see..I hear Amnesia is right around the corner...........VIOLA! wow. Nice shoppe. Friendly barkeep. After seeing the menu, I asked for the NYC Diesel and the King Hussen, a nice dark-brown pollem Hasj. Now here's where I forget everything I've read on here.

Barkeep: "You want to use the Vaporizer?"
Me: Oh.

I look to my left and there's a Volcano. He shows me the tricks and eventually I start puffing. I get four hits in me when Barkeep says, "You gotta unhook and snap that piece on there."

Duh. I did as told, and took a big hit of Diesel.

In the olden days, we used to hold our hits as long as possible, due to Schwag and the "knowledge" that holding it "'til one pukes" makes for more THC entering the bloodstream. Well...........it appears we were right.
I held it as long as I wanted and then exhaled thru my nose. Sweet! .............oh.......OH....(uh-oh).

I am so glad they hadda couch. I preceeded to "casually" lounge on the fluffy thing and lay my head back. I thought to myself, < "myself? In the Hinterlands some AssKeep would accuse me of falling asleep.......wait....I am" > Yeesh. I was fairly tripping. 4 little ones and ONE BIG ONE. I waved the Peace Sign to the Keeper and literally staggered to my Hotel.
Along the way, I saw a mini-RLD and one BBBW puckered up and blew me a kiss. Hmm.......stagger......home, Jeeves.

<the knowledge on here told one said newbie to NOT do a Vaporizer for your first hit.> Whatta Maroon.

I made it to my room and flopped on the bed. Comfy! 4 hours later I blossom out of this righteous dream and FREAK!

SHIT! I gotta meet GT! oh.....it's only 4:30pm. whew. After soaking my head, I headed to Grey Area once again.

No prob. I feel entrenched. I love this city! Grey Area is OPEN! Woo-hoo! John is on duty...I intro myself and ask for the G.M. Haze and the Crystals. DAMN! Big bag 'o' Crystals! WOW. I tell John that I've heard a lot about him and evidently all is true. He is a bubbly, helpful person.

I grab my gear and head in the general direction of DeKuil. I'm early so I can explore the vicinity. NIce. The architecture is wonderful. I cruise some little side streets and see 1 of everything.

At about 5:30, I headed over and found DeKuil like a pro. I glanced in and wandered past, up to the main drag up ahead. AAAAHHHH. Frites! Gimme! The gal asks, "Ketchup or Mayonnaise?" I exclaim, "MAYONNAISE!" .... as if...........fuggin' scrumptious.

I chilled on the corner, leaning, and feeling cool. MMMMMMMM. Time!

I sashay <okay, I stagger an attempt at being cool> <Damn those Crystals are good.>..into DeKuil. I am drawn to the Dealer end of the bar. I look around and order a coke from the most lovely Barkeep I've ever encountered. OH LORD, Please let this be GT!!!!!! .......yeah right.

GT was at the other end watching me drool. I finally sauntered toward the front and some bald guy says, "Are you lookin' for somebody?" I reply, "Whatta ya got in mind?" The rest is history.

more to come.........I hadda get a start at least......

WOOT!

[Boner]

The dogs bollocks - yes what a read can't wait for the next instalment (can't say how many times it made me smile)...Boner...

[Michelle]

bollocks.. great report, thanx! :-)) keep 'em coming :-)

[Gidget]

Awesome post, Makes me just that more giddy about being there in two weeks....I Cant Wait!

[Banks]

Real nice job there, Mr. A... I'm looking for more!

[Dogbreath]

Ah yes, that first day in Amsterdam. Sweet.

:-) Dogbreath

[Mr. Charlie]

Best of all - he didn't pull a Dannymac!!

Great report Bollocks!!

[Old Hippie Dave]

VERY COOL ---worth the wait ---can't wait for #2

[Bohannon]

Woot!! Great report! I also stayed at the Cordial in June of 2002. I loved sitting at a window table in the breakfast room gazing upon the Rokin. I stopped every day for a cubano at P.G.C.H. before heading out. Keep up the good work!
Pax

[Chiqui]

That was pure fun reading your post. Had me smiling the whole time i was reading it. Looking forward to the next post.

[foxiehaha]

Sure woulda liked to have shared your mayo Puppy-Boy.xxx

Foxie.

[a bollocks]

Sure woulda liked to have shared your mayo Puppy-Boy.xxx

Foxie.

Thanks to all of you for your kind comments. I didn't take notes and am reliving the trip as I type. Nice.

Oh Foxie. You'd better read the "Foxiehaha" thread to see what I am planning for November. HA!

mmmmmmm....puppies with mayo....one of my faves.


WOOT!

[Max Flower]

Greetings and welcome back so, ya staggerin bollocks,

Thanks for the sweet read, it brought back a few warm and fuzzy feelings. I'm glad you had a blast and I cant wait to read the rest about your visit. Good one about you hoping the barkeep was GT.

Cheers again,
Max.

[GT]

sure, the bartender was cute, but she was no gt....

looks like you win, you get your story out first....

[LastHamlet]

Way to go Bollocks. What a nice first day...
But hey, Mr.Charlie, that Sofa may have saved him from a D'Mac, or so it may seem.
Good job Bollocks.
Glad you like the first day. But you should have read enough to know Grey Area is not open till 1:00 PM at best,,, Blaze on Bollocks.

[dannymac]

Did I hear my named mentioned? LOL


Sorry I'm late, I started on the other side of the album!

a bollocks, great job pulling it all together after that close call!

;-)

[slither]

*BUMP*