full fledged crawl.

A forum where you can read the great
adventures of the visitors to Amsterdam.

padichar
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full fledged crawl.

Postby padichar » Tue Oct 11, 4:07 pm

I was reading the channel forum recently and found out a comment that I particularly liked: pot adds to the Amsterdam experience but is not by itself the experience. I thought that this was really my take on the whole matter. Of course having said this, my tale is really going to sound like all I did was smoke pot… which I did but that altered state of mind goes well together with the place. Thinking on the past, Amsterdam was once a whole lot seedier that it is today somehow those days are gone and it detracts something from the whole adventure IMHO.


Those of you that have read my prose know that I always meander through the city in the hunt for the killer bud. Here I am , 10:45 in the morning stepping on the Central Station platform, tired from getting up early but elated to have reached the Venice of the North. I always start the trip on mellow note, too early to drop my bag at the hotel… but right on time for a vape, I lock on target … anyway a quick walk to Barney’s, a gram of Dr Grinspoon., Volcano here I come. One bowl, a follow on, maybe another one … Wait what’s the count? I dun no… I have arrived welcome to planet Grinspoon!! Yummy, hazy but too much hype, I need something with more punch. By now the sun is shining the day looks beautiful this spells for one and only activity: outside lounging.

I was not in the mood for a long walk and really wanted to enjoy the sun while it lasted – always somewhat difficult to predict when in AMS- I crossed a couple of canals to Coffeeshop 137. The place is really a local hangout. As I walked in, it was empty of tourist only a couple of Dutch drinking tea and smoking huge and I mean huge ganja Joints. An overpowering smell of good MJ filled my nostrils leaving me no choice but to buy right there and then the green that smelled so good. Say Cheese… Yep the grin I had must have been a picture perfect… too bad nobody was there to take a pic. Maybe another Fausse Bonne Idée -not such a great idea after all.

Trust me on this one, it was excruciatingly painful to extract myself from the place to get to my hotel. I thought that I might just as well check in before I had a total unrecoverable memory failure/ meltdown..

Once properly housed and now fully relaxed, it was time to get the all powerful crawl map out. Hé oui what else but to plan ahead, else you get sidetracked all the time. This time around I wanted to do this in an articulated manner – somehow things tend to completely go astray once you indulge-
Hop on the 9, minutes later I walked in Hill street blues, chit chatted with the lady bud tender to carefully select the produce of week: Super Silver Haze, nice tasty hazy, smelly , lovely I am sure you get the gist, good pick let me rephrase that excellent choice.
Of course while testing the produce, I looked around the shop and this one really feels different the deco is academically reduced to it simplest expression TAGS. Oh well not my thing but definitely worth the detour.
Yet somehow I felt a little estranged by the settings, a creeping sense of loneliness and depression settled in. Definitely not a good vibe, exiting err running to the only place that could mend my now bruised soul: Basjoe.

You cannot imagine the relief it was to see with my own eyes the blue and white illuminated sign with Basjoe written all over it. What a joy to enter this favorite establishment, a sense of family, of friend of good time ahead. James as usual at the helm of his ship welcomed me aboard. I seemed that all the key elements were there, good place, good bud tender, shinning sun and great, GREAT gear. There is nothing better than sitting outside Basjoe drinking a cappuccino while enjoying the herbal nuances at hand. I tried the Bas Special … AK 47 and OG Kush , I do recommend all of these products . Partaking in the sun sipping coffee out in the open without the risk of being annoyed by the men in blue., isn’t this the only way? I am so sick and tired to have to hide to toke, always in fear of the uniformed men.

As fast as the sun came out, the rain started again, just in time for me to manage to teleport myself to the De Kuil. I guess the bass special was that good: I have literally no recollection whatsoever as to how I got there. Somehow between the last mental image at Basjoe and the next one at the Kuil there is a big complete blank. I can now claim to be the first inventor of this instantaneous mean of transport. BTW I really enjoyed it!!!

Ah de Kuil, where are the time when one could drink and fly at the same time? Another great moment spent at that place. No, I did not get enticed by that very cute bud tender to buy their most expensive squidgy black. No, No that would definitely not be me.
Of course it was, I could not let my eyes away from that girl, she could have sold me soap bar for the price of Iceolator, I could not have cared less. Granted in that case the resin was more than adequate…spice is the word, spicy flowery, mind eraser.
I stayed quite a bit a that place, enjoying every minute of every hour taking great pleasure in taking the time to breathe, listen , feel. in a word: live. Why is it that the best moments always have to stop? I wish I knew, in this case it was getting rather late and I wanted to walk the entire Vondelpark while there was still light out.

So on my way crossing the city to go to vondelpark from de Kuil leaves you with quite a few options to get there. By now you should realize that I could not resist the urge to stop not once but twice.. First stop at the Dampkring for a quick purchase of their riff man hash and second at tweede kamer to skin up a generous cone of that tasteful Moroccan.

By then, my brain was fully drug addled thus causing a significant reduction of motor function; it could also very well be that I did not care to bother myself with such things as time, constrains. All these useless things ruling our life. Anyhow, I finally made it to the northern entrance of the park. Great walk even after dark, the last leg of the walk is a long straight paved road surrounded by trees, hedges and lovely little ponds. It was even sufficiently warn that I did not get to wear a proper rain jacket. Felt like autumn but somehow with a summer feel.

After such a walk, I decided to call it a day so I quietly made it back to my hotel area around Rembrandt plein, very different settings, too loud and noisy but I put it down on a poor choice of area. Tired but awakened by the loud music, it took me more than a tasting of the local produce to finally nod off to a peaceful sleep.

Easy to understand, excited by being there I got up somewhat early around 8 AM, too early for breakfast at the hotel. Since the sun was out, I dressed lightly without rain protection: BIG MISTAKE. I left Rembrandt plein leaving behind me an odoriferous smoke trail to my next place of call Green house CS a few blocks away. I reached the front door of the place to find it closed, fully locked. What a bummer!! I was really looking to do the coffee and cigarettes err spliff thing while seated outside enjoying the shinning sun. Life has always a way to steer you in a completely different direction that what you had planned, for me this is the salt of life, you never know for sure what will be next.


I had some honey do’s (honey do this, honey do that) that I swore to purchase such as cheese, Dutch cookies (yes you know the one that looks like a pressed waffle with caramel on the inside) so on my way to the closest AH, I literally stumbled by accident on one of the Mac bike rental office (the waterlooplein location).

Suddenly without having decided ahead, I see myself signing the dotted line of a rental contract for a bike. Being the cheap ass that I am, I rented a typical Dutch bike fitted with the usual back pedaling braking system. Time for a quick assessment of the situation: Alone in AMS, High as a full blown kitesurf jump, Very little experience in back pedaling brake system… Basically, another stoned tourist bike accident waiting to happen, I suppose business as usual in AMS. Regardless, I felt that the experience was going to be just great.

Anyhow, I am now on the bike, the first few meters are pure agony, somehow the bike handling is much, much worse than I thought, braking the freakin’ thing takes some hard thinking every time. My hands naturally look for brakes handles that are nowhere to be found. I avoided crashing into somebody’s rear side (the bike for those of you not following) by adopting the best braking method ever: pressing the soles of my shoes on the pavement as I hard as I could it worked every time even on wet ground and No my shoes are not made by Michelin.

Speaking of wet stuff, guess what? Right as I exited Mac bike, it started pouring down, I mean real rain none of that light shower stuff that you sometimes gets in the city. Buckets of water coming down, dressed lightly without weather protection, nowhere to hide. Yessss back to the now open Green House: a two minutes cycling distance. I would use this as an excuse for most of the day to retreat to indoor smoking activities – as if I needed an excuse-

For those of you not inclined to indulging skip to the next paragraph. For the rest of us, potheads please continue. I found out that Green House was selling a pure sativa hash made the Moroccan way. Just so tasty, so fruity, so sativa high: uplifting, joyful high in a small ball of trichs…definitely a must buy.


After such a pause, my overall plan was to ride the bike to Sarphatipark and then continue crossing the Amstel to Oosterpark then up to Hortus Botanicus. Well the first leg was somewhat uneventful aside from the 3 near misses, 2 close car encounters, numerous pedestrian would be victims. I made it to Sarphatipark which is smack in the middle of de PIJP. Lovely ride although I still did not get the feel for braking on time, ended up doing it always either too soon or too late.

Again, the weather was really so-so, spells of sunshine cut short most of the time by heavy downpours, I was on my way to the CS YOYO for which I have developed a very special affection. I really love the setting of this shop, it resembles more like an art gallery than a CS. The place was closed due to the owner organizing a “nature morte “class. Where else in the world would you find such a concept Marijuana dealer / Art Teacher? The best about it, the apprentice painters’ work looked really well made.

Rain was coming down hard; I had to find a quick retreat before being literally washed in cold water from head to toe. Thanks to the ganja gods, Carmona was just around the corner so dazzled, cold and confused, I entered the premises not knowing what to expect. Carmona is more of the old style comfortable shop, lots of seating, relaxing music, computer access. On top of that I had the place to myself. Being drenched, I needed a warm coffee to wash down the big J I had rolled. For the life of me, complete memory loss as to what I was smoking : most probably a haze of some sort. I would come back to this place if for no other reason than the good vibe I perceived while being there.

Cautious about the weather and concerned about my light clothing, I decided to curtail my bike route and back away to the Vondelpark. The ride took no more than 10 minutes except for a near death trap miss read bike front wheel almost stuck in the tram rail passage, I am oblivious to what happened since I got literally soaked by the freezing water tropical style downpour.

I quickly proceeded to cross the park to CS tweedy. Let me tell you something about this place, excluding extreme emergency do not go there. The coffee was instant and there is nothing more distasteful that instant cappuccino. Yucky! congealed clots of coffee and cream powders do not make for a good coffee let alone a coffee. Oh well at least I could somewhat dry my clothes while recharging in THC levels. I sampled their version of chocolope, nice smell but what a letdown. Definitely nothing to write home about.

Fully loaded and ready for more I exited Tweedy under a ray of sunshine, gorgeous to be able to ride the bike on a full tour of the Vondelpark without being pissed on. Much faster tour on a bike than on foot, I was so exited to be outside riding that I decided to redo a full tour of the place exiting towards museumplein.

I was now ready to drop the bike at the rental shop for I had only contracted it for a day. Yet I remembered that I had to run an errand in a electrical appliances shop that sold weird bulbs located close to Barney’s and thus positioned directly across town from my present location. But this is where it gets interesting I had less than 45 minutes to complete the feat before the bike rental place was closing down for the day.

Nothing a big fat one won’t cure, I then felt like a runner of the tour de France, sprinting against all odds to buy a few silly bulbs. To top it off, the weather had now reverted to the liquid sunshine form leaving me no choice but to get utterly drenched. I arrived at the place with 30 minutes left before the final countdown. The purchase of the bulbs took me a whole 2,5 minutes, the vape at Barneys more than 15. – I thought before that volvanos were fast , wrong too slow when out of time.

The last leg of the bike adventure felt more like an obstacle course than a bike ride. Crossing the city from Barney to Waterlooplein took me through small streets where I had to zip in and out of the flow to keep on going. Interesting to say the least, hairy is probably closer to the truth.
I made it on time to give the bike back. The rental place owner even offered me a towel to somehow wipe a bit my watery self. Althought it did not help much, I still had the great sensation of being a wet rag.

Tired, dazzled, addled I escaped reality back to the hotel smoking all the leftovers to oblivion. Only to wake up in the morning to come back to harsh realities and a train back home.
Conclusion biking is the way to go. Actually it beats all other means of transportation in AMS hands down. I will just try to remember, next time, that Holland's weather is not tropical.
I hope you have enjoyed my tale. We do not read many tales these days on the forum. It is too bad, I believe everybody has got something to add.
Last edited by padichar on Wed Oct 12, 10:51 am, edited 6 times in total.

shezzuk1

Postby shezzuk1 » Tue Oct 11, 4:24 pm

Nice report Padichar...

padichar
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Postby padichar » Tue Oct 11, 4:28 pm

I hope you enjoyed it but let me tell you it was pouring down hard last week end.

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chichi123
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Postby chichi123 » Tue Oct 11, 4:36 pm

Nice trip report. Thanks for taking the time!

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Dazzler
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Postby Dazzler » Tue Oct 11, 4:38 pm

Nice one. Just wondering: you're French, right? And posting in a non-nativer language?

Even bigger props.

padichar
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Postby padichar » Tue Oct 11, 4:45 pm

Dazzler, indeed I am from the other side of the river Rhine. Please bear with my deficient english. If you really insist upon it, I can post the whole thing in my mother tongue. It would be a tad difficult for you to read. BTW I am truly sorry for the rugby, england should have kicked our arse. For once our team played ok. I believe we won't make it to the final. Our arse kicking is about to happen. Should be fun to watch.
Last edited by padichar on Tue Oct 11, 4:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Dazzler
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Postby Dazzler » Tue Oct 11, 4:46 pm

padichar wrote:Dazzler, indeed I am from the other side of the river Rhine. Please bear with my deficient english.


Not at all. Your English is expressive and very, very nearly faultless.

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boneymaroni
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Postby boneymaroni » Tue Oct 11, 4:58 pm

Thanks for the report...well done.

I agree with your assessment of CS Tweedy...pure shit.

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Postby worldcitizen1723 » Tue Oct 11, 7:13 pm

great report Padi -- sounds like you had a perfect Amsterdam weekend!
thanks for taking the time to write it up

yeah biking makes everything a bit more fun : >
but ya really gotta watch for those tram tracks.. glad ya only had a scare and not a disaster

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Postby Boner » Tue Oct 11, 7:30 pm

Brilliant report, thanks for taking the time and thanks for posting it in English.

padichar
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Postby padichar » Tue Oct 11, 8:30 pm

I am famished so I will make this short. I would like to thank you all for your kind words. your replies are what brought me to sign up to Channels in the first place. If my memory is correct and one can very well imagine the sorry state of this particular function after such a week-end. You are the exact same group of channelites that welcomed me last year. To my eyes, you represent the core of this forum, bringing life to channels. As for English being the language of choice, alas my own language no longer has the prestige it used to. It so happens that I find English to be when well spoken a very remarkable idiom.

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Postby Rudy » Tue Oct 11, 9:47 pm

Top hole, by crikey.
Good job Mr. Padichar.
Even for a frenchy.

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Postby uk*bag*lady » Tue Oct 11, 10:26 pm

padichar wrote:I am famished so I will make this short. I would like to thank you all for your kind words. your replies are what brought me to sign up to Channels in the first place. If my memory is correct and one can very well imagine the sorry state of this particular function after such a week-end. You are the exact same group of channelites that welcomed me last year. To my eyes, you represent the core of this forum, bringing life to channels. As for English being the language of choice, alas my own language no longer has the prestige it used to. It so happens that I find English to be when well spoken a very remarkable idiom.


What nice words.

And good luck for the semi final on Saturday!

May the best team win.

:-)

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Postby kiwi_in_Oz » Wed Oct 12, 12:05 am

best trip report since worldcitizens ! thanks and welcome to channels.

great to see another pot head here as well

Would be interested in your views on the rugby this weekend. see the worldcup thread in the Bar.

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des
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Postby des » Wed Oct 12, 9:43 am

Decent trip reports have become rarer than rocking horse shit on here ... so it's always nice to read a really good one!

Thanks for taking the time!


Peace, Des.

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Postby FitZerOy » Wed Oct 12, 2:51 pm

agreed...engaging read, thanks for posting

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Lamont
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Postby Lamont » Fri Jun 22, 3:40 pm

very nice report, thanks for sharing it!


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