drug tourism

A forum where you can read the great
adventures of the visitors to Amsterdam.

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chigusa
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drug tourism

Postby chigusa » Sun Jun 27, 2:57 pm

i'm leaving for amsterdam at stupid o'clock in the morning.
i'll be there until friday.
i've had a go at my feet with some glasspaper and they look fairly human.
easyjet are cheap and i'm a tight fisted swine so i have to fly from bastard liverpool. they can stick their scratchcards up their arse.

i'll let you know how i go on.

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Postby Old Fart » Sun Jun 27, 3:49 pm

Have a great time chig. Looking forward to your up-dates.

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Re: drug tourism

Postby Sparky » Sun Jun 27, 5:35 pm

chigusa wrote:i'm leaving for amsterdam at stupid o'clock in the morning.
i'll be there until friday.
i've had a go at my feet with some glasspaper and they look fairly human.
easyjet are cheap and i'm a tight fisted swine so i have to fly from bastard liverpool. they can stick their scratchcards up their arse.

i'll let you know how i go on.


glasspaper? Silicon-carbide sandpaper? Jiminy. Those some bastard feet.

Say hi to Rooney the cunt on your way out of Scouseland.

enjoy.

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Postby chichi123 » Mon Jun 28, 1:27 am

Chig you need a pumice stone or a pedicure. I see guys getting them.

Btw, wtf a hooker going to suck your toes?

And have a great time!

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Postby Rudy » Mon Jun 28, 2:40 pm

Oh lord.
Chigs on vacation and he`s groomed his feet...

Someone call the CDC!

TarantulA

Re: drug tourism

Postby TarantulA » Mon Jun 28, 4:29 pm

chigusa wrote:i'm leaving for amsterdam ........

i'll let you know how i go on.


poor old Amsterdam

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Re: drug tourism

Postby Red Pleb » Mon Jun 28, 5:37 pm

chigusa wrote:i'll be there until friday.

i'll let you know how i go on.



Excellent. Will look forward to a report detailing, in your very own earthy and delightfully graphic and inimitable hand , incidents where people were acting like cunts. You know the sort of thing.
Have a fun time.

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Postby chigusa » Tue Jun 29, 6:02 pm

got a great flaet looking out at stuff.some of the other lads have got a right shit hole with builders and everything. ours has cielings and doors.
am in the green place stones as a twatter smoked all sorts of dope, and have a bike. very few cunts in amsterdam in the summer time alls eem nice people.shame really. should come in winter when they are all fucked off.
haven't seen tak, although if i do i shall make him a dinner he won't soon forget. everybody here is on drugs. the women ae all showing a olt of leg on the bikes, i personally have seen thirty odd bike growlers wone of them sans coulotte.
the lad who is having the 18th is like a pig in shit.
will appear on the sibrie webcam about eightish.
all here beleive dannymac to be a cunt. there is a sticker campaign'.
easyjet are never having a penny of my oney again, now thre's a set of orange cunts.

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Postby boneymaroni » Tue Jun 29, 6:07 pm

most excellent Mr Shite...refreshing in fact.

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Postby Old Fart » Tue Jun 29, 6:13 pm

That was fucking hilarious. Great report.

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Postby Sparky » Tue Jun 29, 6:42 pm

report still decipherable.

more smoking needed.

on to Siberie.

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Postby chigusa » Tue Jun 29, 7:55 pm

don't think for one minute that i'm that cunt with the braids in his hair. or the sjickly looking child at the back table.
nothing has changed in amsterdam.you can still buy dope an smoke it with tobacco. siberiree has lost something by building the smoking section.
spent a fucking fortune on dope and will spend more sa i get the chance,
the only name i remembe ris blueberry from bagherra. fuck me its good ive been back for more today and will go again later.
i can't help thinking that nazi officers must have watched the roundingn up of jews in nuwe kirk from the window of the flat were renting. i wonder if some sort orecreation is in order.
the other flat is infested with builders and has had its price reduced by a hundred euros. amsterdam cribs,great frim. gabes weed ion arrival. tommy dickfingers again. fucking off to the coin. on the bikes. get out of my fuclking way cloggie.

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Postby chichi123 » Tue Jun 29, 9:22 pm

Hope your platters are holding up.

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Postby chigusa » Wed Jun 30, 8:56 am

in the coin smoking hash from central.
went in basjoe for aw hile mlast night. it's ok but for fucks sake i wouldn't worship at that dredd fuckers feet like some of rhe more excitable septics.
better weed next door at bagheeeera no matter what bumlord says.
did see a very pretty if bang on past it milf sort in there. you could see that twenty five years ago her cunt was made of gold, but that now it wasn't even legal tender. women who used to get their way because of being fit tickle the fuck out of me. mind you, im no prize so i would have fucked her/ if she had asked. which she didn't. she had her two daughters with her. two girls right at the hight of their tuppence magic. they kind of made up for their mum. that's basjoe.

the bike is still cool as all fuck and a razor blade remains the finest tool of persuasion known to man.

more later. i plan to smoke a load of weed.

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Postby chigusa » Wed Jun 30, 6:16 pm

the economic downturn is good news for punters. the filthy whores are better looking at the moment than ive seen for donkeys years.
green place smoking something called purple kush. fuck me. fucking fuck me fucking fuck.
went in a cafe that had nothing to do with weed this morning. who knew? the coffe is better. i had something hat sounded like eggshitting when the cloggie girl said it. the usual dutch ingrediants. bread cheese ham and eggs but done to great effect.
i saw something this morning which id heard of but never dared to dream that i would see. a bint on a bike went past goa and i swear her growler woinked at me. i couldnt speak and had to have another joint.

burger bar really is good. cunts gave me a little seat cover for the bike.

the lads are of on the bikes fucking around in parks and that. im smoking dope.
siberie lare

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Postby Sparky » Wed Jun 30, 6:58 pm

chigusa wrote: a bint on a bike went past goa and i swear her growler woinked at me. i couldnt speak and had to have another joint.



is that anything like a vulvazela?

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Postby jerkypete49 » Wed Jun 30, 9:52 pm

Wow!

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chigusa
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Postby chigusa » Wed Jun 30, 10:37 pm

there is nothing quite so funny as a drunk fat man on a bike .
the dolphins. the fucking dolphjins.wanted to smoke the verdamper. woman said that i had to buy her weed to use it, worse, even after buying her weed i would still not ne permitted to put my own weed in her fucking verdampers. i mentioned her resemblance to what you find at the junction of a womans legs. dolphins used to be ok.
dull jock behind me.
did i say purple? i should have.
desmond lynham. growler fairy.

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Postby Sparky » Thu Jul 01, 7:44 pm

bastard.

MORE! MORE!

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trip

Postby hebe » Fri Jul 02, 7:53 pm

sounding better,almost made out all of the last. need to smoke more.spelling getting better also.lite a big one for the ol tripper.....

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Postby chigusa » Sat Jul 03, 1:00 am

i am no longer in amsterdam.
as i said earlier easy jet and liverpool airport are shit. in future i shall just pay the extra and go with klm from manchester, a real airline and a real airport.
amsterdam's not what it was but it's still a place where you can buy and smoke dope in shops. come to think about it that's all amsterdam ever was, so it's just the same but a bit shittier with a few more rules to ignore. as we all know the only important thing to the cloggies is the bottom line so as long as you are spending money they don't seem to give a fuck.
the tobacco ban did not affect me at all. i openly used tobacco in every shop i went in. nobody asked me to hide my cigs, i was spending money so nobody gave a fuck.
smoking is welcomed in central coffeeshop. it is not just a pay and fuck off shop, no matter what you may have heard.
the lads in the other flat ended up paying fifty euro per man due to it being shit, which was just as well given they had supped the fucking rent money anyway.
we've all always known it but bikes are the thing in amsterdam. christ's cock but i love that aimless stoned floating that you can do on a bike, and its a fuck of a sight easier on the legs. it's the walking on the constant flat that fucks you.
bike growlers are best observed from about ten yards along any canal after the fall away from a bridge. it's a good idea to sit facing the bridge and perhaps wear dark glasses. as the lady cyclist approaches one is treated to a gash flash with every down stroke of the pedals. it may not be a particularly feminist activity but it gives you something to do while you smoke.
some americans are cunts when it comes to coffeeshops. i watched a couple of oldish tarts in green place smoke a joint and discuss the experience. they recorded their thoughts in a little book and then awarded the dope marks out of ten. cun ts. a little fat american chap in grey area held up a queue of six people while he spent ten fucking minutes harping on about how much knew about dope, cunt, it's just a fucking drug. shut up and fuck off. i had already been served and therefor didn't have to upset the cunt. but fucking hell there were some big lads in that queue and they didn't say a fucking word. soft hippy bastards.
someone, i have no idea who, has written "bonglord's cock stinks" in the bog at basjoe.

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Postby Sparky » Sat Jul 03, 1:11 am

chigusa wrote:i am no longer in amsterdam.
as i said earlier easy jet and liverpool airport are shit. in future i shall just pay the extra and go with klm from manchester, a real airline and a real airport.
amsterdam's not what it was but it's still a place where you can buy and smoke dope in shops. come to think about it that's all amsterdam ever was, so it's just the same but a bit shittier with a few more rules to ignore. as we all know the only important thing to the cloggies is the bottom line so as long as you are spending money they don't seem to give a fuck.
the tobacco ban did not affect me at all. i openly used tobacco in every shop i went in. nobody asked me to hide my cigs, i was spending money so nobody gave a fuck.
smoking is welcomed in central coffeeshop. it is not just a pay and fuck off shop, no matter what you may have heard.
the lads in the other flat ended up paying fifty euro per man due to it being shit, which was just as well given they had supped the fucking rent money anyway.
we've all always known it but bikes are the thing in amsterdam. christ's cock but i love that aimless stoned floating that you can do on a bike, and its a fuck of a sight easier on the legs. it's the walking on the constant flat that fucks you.
bike growlers are best observed from about ten yards along any canal after the fall away from a bridge. it's a good idea to sit facing the bridge and perhaps wear dark glasses. as the lady cyclist approaches one is treated to a gash flash with every down stroke of the pedals. it may not be a particularly feminist activity but it gives you something to do while you smoke.
some americans are cunts when it comes to coffeeshops. i watched a couple of oldish tarts in green place smoke a joint and discuss the experience. they recorded their thoughts in a little book and then awarded the dope marks out of ten. cun ts. a little fat american chap in grey area held up a queue of six people while he spent ten fucking minutes harping on about how much knew about dope, cunt, it's just a fucking drug. shut up and fuck off. i had already been served and therefor didn't have to upset the cunt. but fucking hell there were some big lads in that queue and they didn't say a fucking word. soft hippy bastards.
someone, i have no idea who, has written "bonglord's cock stinks" in the bog at basjoe.


from what I've been reading over at ACD, it was Islandgurl wot did it.

well done, Lad.

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Postby FitZerOy » Sat Jul 03, 1:51 am

Best read here for a while...ta!

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Postby Red Pleb » Sat Jul 03, 11:46 am

chigusa wrote:i am no longer in amsterdam.
as i said earlier easy jet and liverpool airport are shit. in future i shall just pay the extra and go with klm from manchester, a real airline and a real airport.
amsterdam's not what it was but it's still a place where you can buy and smoke dope in shops. come to think about it that's all amsterdam ever was, so it's just the same but a bit shittier with a few more rules to ignore. as we all know the only important thing to the cloggies is the bottom line so as long as you are spending money they don't seem to give a fuck.
the tobacco ban did not affect me at all. i openly used tobacco in every shop i went in. nobody asked me to hide my cigs, i was spending money so nobody gave a fuck.
smoking is welcomed in central coffeeshop. it is not just a pay and fuck off shop, no matter what you may have heard.
the lads in the other flat ended up paying fifty euro per man due to it being shit, which was just as well given they had supped the fucking rent money anyway.
we've all always known it but bikes are the thing in amsterdam. christ's cock but i love that aimless stoned floating that you can do on a bike, and its a fuck of a sight easier on the legs. it's the walking on the constant flat that fucks you.
bike growlers are best observed from about ten yards along any canal after the fall away from a bridge. it's a good idea to sit facing the bridge and perhaps wear dark glasses. as the lady cyclist approaches one is treated to a gash flash with every down stroke of the pedals. it may not be a particularly feminist activity but it gives you something to do while you smoke.
some americans are cunts when it comes to coffeeshops. i watched a couple of oldish tarts in green place smoke a joint and discuss the experience. they recorded their thoughts in a little book and then awarded the dope marks out of ten. cun ts. a little fat american chap in grey area held up a queue of six people while he spent ten fucking minutes harping on about how much knew about dope, cunt, it's just a fucking drug. shut up and fuck off. i had already been served and therefor didn't have to upset the cunt. but fucking hell there were some big lads in that queue and they didn't say a fucking word. soft hippy bastards.
someone, i have no idea who, has written "bonglord's cock stinks" in the bog at basjoe.


Stonking read and awash with chuckles. Well played.

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Postby muckypup » Sat Jul 03, 11:48 pm

chigusa wrote:two girls right at the hight of their tuppence magic


I shall be adopting this for use in day-to-day conversation.

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Postby muckypup » Sat Jul 03, 11:52 pm

chigusa wrote:amsterdam's not what it was but it's still a place where you can buy and smoke dope in shops. come to think about it that's all amsterdam ever was


Observation of the decade.

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Postby slither » Sun Jul 04, 6:34 pm

Brilliant stuff, chig - sardonic, whimsical and succinct.

Tip o' the hat to you,





Ths Slith

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Postby Max Flower » Mon Jul 05, 8:58 am

One for the Hall of Fame.

From woinking growlers to your take on bikes your report-fu is powerfully entertaining.

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Postby NewYork, New York » Wed Jul 07, 4:30 pm

chigusa wrote:
i am no longer in amsterdam. And nobody gives a fuck.
amsterdam's not what it was but it's still a place where you can buy and smoke dope in shops. And nobody gives a fuck.
come to think about it that's all amsterdam ever was, so it's just the same but a bit shittier with a few more rules to ignore. And nobody gives a fuck.
as we all know the only important thing to the cloggies is the bottom line so as long as you are spending money they don't seem to give a fuck.
the tobacco ban did not affect me at all. i openly used tobacco in every shop i went in. nobody asked me to hide my cigs, i was spending money so nobody gave a fuck.
smoking is welcomed in central coffeeshop. it is not just a pay and fuck off shop, no matter what you may have heard. And nobody gives a fuck.


Chigusa,

If you took a bunch of your trip reports and assembled them into a book, I have a title for you:


"Nobody gives a fuck".

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Postby jerkypete49 » Thu Jul 08, 1:30 pm

chiq

I think you out-Bolsed Bolsy.


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