ODD PERSPECTIVES; June/July 2003 Trip Report. Part #13

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ODD PERSPECTIVES; June/July 2003 Trip Report. Part #13

Postby LastHamlet » Wed Nov 19, 3:41 am

Day #16 The Departing Day,,, The Swan Song.

It was July 11th, the last day I will see Amsterdam in the year of 2003.

Oh the dreaded last day, the departure day nonetheless. With some final packing and checking of the room, and some smoking of goods, the chores of getting ready to leave were just about complete. Rolling up a prime hooter for the airport good-bye, and smoking all we could to continue the buzz as long as possible. Nobody, and I do mean nobody, ever likes having to go back home from Amsterdam. This is the saddest part of the journey by far, and nothing can really prepare you for this day. With the formalities of getting the luggage down to the main floor for the checkout completed, still more hits from the joint were needed. I mean, you know you have to come home, but you just can't figure out why the dream must end. The entire place is like an illusion, and you just want the fantasy to continue on forever. Such is never the case though, and the departure is unavoidable. I sit on the windowsill and say my last farewells to the lovely view from room #9. A tear or two rolls down my cheek as I ponder over the events of the whole trip.

Forgotten Moments:

Although a reasonable long report in it's entirety, there were moments I faded away at times. Like after the Channelites meeting when BB, D’Mac and I went to DeKuil and DannyMac took his first vaporizer hits. (Where was I then??? Who only knows?) How about some of the nights when I wandered aimlessly through the streets? Although, I lived it and do remember most of those wandering moments, they tend to run together like a hazy dream. I forgot about grace during the Channelites meeting and dinner afterwards. Furthermore the coffeeshop after the dinner, still spilling things about. Or, how about forgetting integrity when I went for that 18th coffeeshop, when the crawl had been decidedly finished. (Again, DannyMac I am so sorry.)
I am not writing this to blame anything on a buzz, or blame the ghanja itself. I am much rather writing to say that I may be using a bit too much ghanja at times. Maybe too much of any one thing, can be too much. Maybe it is more rather that we as humans should be careful as to the sword we chose to live by. Inevitably it will be the sword we die by. In doing anything that defines us a individuals, concerning consumption, we should ask ourselves,,,, “Would we die for it???” In a lot of cases most are prepared to get off the horse at that decisional point in the crossroads. It is that point that I will decide to remain on the horse and ride it till the very end.

In most cases, I have very little excess gear left at the end of these journeys. In this case, I have a nice 3 or 4 grams of Stella Blue, the sweetest smoke of the trip, left. Not to mention a grinder, Bong, weed wallet, and carry pipe. BB cleaned up the bong of most resin and packed it in her bag for the trip home. I don't ever carry used pipes home, but she said it would be such a waste. I didn't mind seeing how I was just going to trash it with the other items.

Oh yeah, the fate of the fungi, what did happen to that gram bag of shrooms??? Well, I had given much thought to that subject since my last shroom voyage alone turned out so scary. I contemplated eating them for the plane ride, but that was not the thing to be trippin on while coming back home on a plane. I briefly, and I mean real briefly, thought about bringing them back stashed in the luggage. That thought quickly exited my mind. Ah, no I won't be risking any such thing as that. With the trashcan in view, I simply shoved them in it, and waved good-bye.

Speaking of saying good-bye, I had to go downstairs and say a heartfelt ‘So Long Till Next Time.’ Mark is a good friend, and wonderful hotel manager. We both somehow knew there would be a next time. Far as that goes there will be many next times. It was the parting of his sight that made the ending of this very nice and interesting journey, a sudden awareness. I always miss the kind people of Prinsenhof. I am always quiet and respectful of others, and always keep the windows open. I am a thoughtful person who also uses a towel at the door and air freshener to make the room smell a little fresher. I know that 99% of the people that visit here rarely indulge, so I try to keep a real polite stature here. I do this because I consider this my second home, and I am a fairly tidy fellow. I do it because I care what people may think of me, and respect their feelings as well. I come to AMS to be me, but I try never to infringe on the same rights as others in their different quests. “I love these fine people of Prinsenhof, I will miss them everyday, till I come again.
With many heartfelt thoughts, I left the sight of the hotel, in hopes of someday returning in yet another state of mind. (You can bet your boots, I will be back.)

The cab driver was a very nice gentleman that took us on our final ride, if you will. The ride to the airport is always like heading up to the gallows, but you always try to get your last glimpses of things as you head to the airport. The cabbie was very talkative and nice all the way. It seems that if you have to take your last ride, it might as well be with a cheery Dutch fellow at the wheel. I will even miss this fellow, yes I will.

After unloading the bags and checking in at the gate, it was time to light up on the outside of the airport. The customary final goodbye smoke that you hope will last forever. I finished what I could, and even BB was turning the joint down. (That was a first.) I had a glass tube with me and left the remaining big half of the joint for someone who needed it. Of course, I hope the person that may want this hooter is an American tourist, cause it is pure weed when I roll them up. With that left on a cement seat, it capped off the lowest smoking day of the trip. A mere 3 grams I smoked up, and that was pushing it to the wire of checking in at 10:00ish. We headed to go past security and I always wind up in the slow line. I simply can't ever pick the fast moving lane to save my life. However, on the departure trip I could care less if I am in the slow line.
Now with all the smoke consumed I had smoked a total of 153 grams of ghanja on this trip. Yep, in just 15 full days and two smoking hours on the departing day, I smoked up a lot. I am sure this is not any kind of record or nothing, but I can tell you this much; I may never smoke quite this much again. Hopefully, I will never find the need to smoke quite this much. In lieu of a more promising romantic future, I think a more moderate approach would be more suited.

Wait: The Excess Gear...

Now on to the bag of Stella Blue and grinder, where did I leave those two things... Let's see, somewhere between here and the airport they can be found. Oh no, I didn't chunk them out the window of the cab, that would be littering. I hid the items somewhere, you can bet on that... I can give a few clues, but not enough to be point blank. 1) The bag of Stella is sealed and the grinder lay right beside it. 2) It takes some slight acrobatic skills to see them, let alone get them. 3) The sweet Stella Blue and grinder are safely tucked away near the peak of a pyramid. 4) The items are placed so that wind and rain cannot get to them. 5) To my knowledge, no one has found the stash yet. 6) I found no other goods stashed at this particular location, neither past nor present. 7) Few have a way to get to the area in which they are stashed in.

The plane blasts off and I say my fond farewells to all of Holland as we streak out of sight. The only eventful thing that happened was a baggage search when I landed in Philly. They just rummaged through my stuff, even read my trip report notes, briefly that is. He kind of paused at my 7 packs of rolling papers, several lighters, and new weed grinder (Unused). He did a few lines of typing on his keyboard and said "That will be All." I grabbed my two bags and headed off. I had no other items than what he saw, so I knew I was not in any danger of being cuffed. I have to admit, this was the first time I had been searched since 1995, so it did bring back some of those fond memories during the process. However, not the same outcome.
All good things must end, moreover my time in Amsterdam this year, is all over. I looked into yet another layer of AMS, as I seem to do every time I come here. In spite of it all, this was a learning trip. A trip that I had to learn about me, sort of a defining moment for the discovery of one's self. I am making some personal vows and resolutions about coming back to Holland. The next person I bring on this journey will be my very last. If I make a bad selection in life and she turns out to be the wrong one, I will only come alone from there on out. I have laid my cards out to seemingly the wrong women, and brought them with me here in the past. In an effort to define who we were together, I have found myself alone in the end. I know it will be a while before I can return, and I will bring that person with me. I can only hope for the best in what will be my last attempt at finding that right person. (Hey, sometimes the best things come in the end.)

This whole adventure would not be complete without a poem of heartfelt emotions. I remember writing one for Beverly once, and it seemed to run her off... However, this has nothing to do with Beverly and will be a much different one indeed. I named it “The Last One.”

The Last One.

I laid my cards out for you, and you tore yours up instead.
You showed me a 'You' that didn't exist, and for a while my heart was dead.
I dreamed some pretty dreams for you, then tried to make them all come true.
With your world, you said with a funny look, "Hey man, we're all through."

Now I have rebuilt the hole you tore in my life.
Holding the same weapon, holding the same knife.
The one you used to puncture my soul, and cut me to bits.
Your fake little personality nearly gave me the shits.

I will toss this blade away, so you will not cut another.
Those strange tales you told, were of you and not your Mother.
You told so many lies, covering up what truth be known.
I'm not sure you’ll know real love, cause your heart is made of stone.

I came on this trip to flush from me, your essence.
To smooth over the pain, and wipe out your very presence.
I did it with the skill of a surgeon, cutting crap out of me.
Goodbye for good LO, cause now my ass is free.

Nothing with you ever seemed to be real.
Now I will make my own path, and cut my own deal.
The gloves are off and the wounds were exposed.
You crapped on me like a toilet, but I will not be disposed.

Oh yeah, I am out of your life and that’s for sure.
Time can heal pain, but Amsterdam was the cure.
I regained the strength you took from me, and you'll never get it back.
I have the power within me, to head on down the track.

A new LastHamlet has emerged and that's the key point.
You don't know me now, not even the way I roll a joint.
A different person from the tormented soul you knew.
I stand here on my feet, and it's me who’s through with you.

This story will have a happy ending, cause my chips are far from cashed.
The past is over and the hopes from them are smashed.
It was hard to build on lies, and trying to believe them everyday.
I know my Maid Marian is coming and with her, I’ll make my way.

I dream the dreams of star filled nights, and watch the pretty skies.
I know my partner is coming and it's no great surprise.
I am a good man, and I know that she will come.
She will tell some tales of sadness and tell me where she's from.

I’ll lay my cards down once again, and we’ll get past all of this.
We’ll start melting away the past to find some newfound bliss.
The roads are never easy, but we will fight them till the end.
Fighting them together, because she will be my friend.

Meandering Overview:

Even through the misery of the bad times, I have learned to live again. I came here to erase a bad set of memories and write a new page in the scroll. I came to reclaim the spirit I once had, with help from the city that I love.
I came to feel some strength at a time when I had none. I came here to tell a tale from a different set of eyes. I came to see some different things, and one new thing I tried. I came to see Amsterdam from an odd sort of view. I came here to write about it, for every one of you.


Things I Forgot To Do:

I forgot to take a trip out to Volendam and Marken. I didn’t even get to go to Den Hagg or the tiny town there of, Madurodam. I didn’t venture out to any new cities of Holland. It seemed that I didn’t really go many places or even see any Museums. This was the first trip that I have never done all of the above-mentioned ventures, and that seems a little strange to me. In considering I really came to see the city I love and draw strength from it’s refreshing essence, it’s not too hard to imagine. I came to see a continuos view of some sights, streets, people and events I might have normally walked by unnoticed. Not to mention, wandering around for that different kind of daily view.
Next trip I will venture again, as before.

If life is a tale told by an idiot, then this segment of life finds me, ‘to be’ that idiot.
A happy go lucky idiot with an odd perspective... An accidental tourist of an unbelievable place, an illusion if you will. It was 22 years ago when I first came here, and I knew I would love it forever.

As far as the ‘Odd Perspectives Trip’ and all of it’s ‘To Be’ and ‘Not To Be’, this is the ‘Swan Song’.
Although, it seems that all things I see and do are from and odd perspective, so that look on life may always be the same. It’s just as the trip itself; the report thereof has now come to pass. It is with great sadness and yet joy that I add these last words.
They are ‘not to be’ the words ‘The End’, much rather the words:

Until We Meet Again.
Last edited by LastHamlet on Wed Nov 19, 7:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Wonderfulll reports LH

Postby Elvis » Wed Nov 19, 4:21 am

Hmmm..makes me remember simular times in my own life...and "the healing of wounds"

Something I have learned in my 48 years of life...it's when you quit looking that she will come to you (or at least it's always been this way with me)

I am privelaged to be the first channelite to respond to this...your last installment to your 2003 trip to the Dam...keep on tokin' dude!

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Postby dannymac » Wed Nov 19, 4:57 am

No need to apologize to me LH, the crawl was great for all concerned - regardless of whether it was 14, 17, or 18 coffeeshops. It wasn't the number that made it so, it was being in the company of fun people!

Yes, that vaporizer initiation. You really were there! So what if you missed this little episode in your trip report, it doesn't matter. Even if I crafted a trip report that contained every little detail of my recent visit - it could never compare to any single one of your oh so enjoyable reads.

Hopefully we'll meet again - and hopefully in Mokum!

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Postby Banks » Wed Nov 19, 5:29 am

So well said, LastHamlet, so well said... life is indeed a journey. Thank you for sharing this part of yours.

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Postby Newbie Doo2 » Wed Nov 19, 11:49 am

Very sad to read your last day.

Is it the end?..........only from the point of view of another trip to AMS.

This is now the begining of the rest of your life, grab it with both hands and enjoy the ride.

MM...take care of him, LH...take care of her.

Best Wishes


The Epic has Ended

Postby Fooz » Wed Nov 19, 11:55 am


I just wanted to say that man, that like everyone else, I really enjoyed all of your excellent prose. For the past 5 months, I've be captivated by both the breadth and detail of your storytelling. You probably can smoke more weed that anyone in the world. ----DELETED----

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Postby O'Spencers » Wed Nov 19, 2:45 pm

Thanks again for the great story. I hope you find that special someone and take her to AMS soon!

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Postby GT » Wed Nov 19, 5:46 pm

the end is always sad...but the darkness is brightened by looking forward into the future light of another adventure.

actually, i think it's pretty amazing you can remember anything given the dosage of memory removal agents... ;-)

once again, thanks for sharing.
best regards

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Postby Amsterdamaged » Wed Nov 19, 5:50 pm

LH You are the man!

I have been secertly reading all of your installments over the last month or so. I am not really into a lot of posting on any message boards but I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed your trip reports. I am even embarssed to say that I would print them out and read them on that damn Stairmaster at the gym. I really don't know how to put into words how I would describe you and your inner thoughts and reflections, but I can certainly say you are a very intrigueing person. I am an avid Amsterdam fan and usually make a trip once a year. I hope to meet some of you in the future.

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I can't believe it is finished.......

Postby Maid Marian » Wed Nov 19, 7:08 pm

LH, once again a wonderful and beautifully written report.

I have watched you write these reports for almost 3 months now. Each one has a different effect on you. I've watched so many emotions appear in your eyes. I have observed you writing thru pain, dismay, heartbreak, sadness, and guilt. (LOL Part 5) Being in Amsterdam definitely began the healing. Then the more you wrote, I watched the real healing begin. As the reports progressed, I saw more and more of hope, happiness and joy return to you. The total transformation came bit by bit in your actual reports.
I'm so glad he's had all of you Channelites cheering him on. So to all of you, thank you for reading, responding, appreciating and helping to bring back the Old Last Hamlet. He is Back and I Love Him..................

ND2 - We will take care of each other, thanks so much....

FOOZ- He CAN smoke an unbelievable amount of weed....

GT- I don't know how or why, but he has the best memory of anyone I've ever known; weed smokers or not.

Love and Peace to All.................MM

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Re: ODD PERSPECTIVES; June/July 2003 Trip Report. Part #13

Postby Beverly Hilscopptu » Wed Nov 19, 10:26 pm

LastHamlet wrote:
This whole adventure would not be complete without a poem of heartfelt emotions. I remember writing one for Beverly once, and it seemed to run her off... However, this has nothing to do with Beverly and will be a much different one indeed. I named it “The Last One.”

The poem didn't run me off, I've just been busy. However, you are barking up the wrong tree unless you wish to write me a poem entitled 'Ode to a Lesbian Half My Age.'

You do seem to have quite a penchant for picking the wrong women.

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Postby dobbs » Thu Nov 20, 2:19 am

STANDING OVATION! Simply Beautiful, Last Hamlet...Can't wait for your next trip.

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'Ode to a Lesbian Half My Age.'

Postby LastHamlet » Thu Nov 20, 4:19 am

All of you people are such wonderful people, and I really mean that.
Thanks Elvis, it was a healing adventure, and wounds do heal.
DannyMac, you are a good spirit and I hope we meet again in Dam. You are the best of coffeeshop crawlers.
Banks, thank you again for all the suggestions and wonderful ideas. I am so sorry I never found the restaurant in your avatar.
ND2, you are a dam fine bloke, man. Yes, I will take care of her.
Fooz, you are quite the writer yourself, and Thanks to you as well.
O’Spencers bet your boots, (WE) will be returning.
GT, you have a great writing style, and your reports are excellent and most superb reads. Best Wishes and Thank You.
Amsterdamaged, that was really touching. So glad you like them, be cool to meet for a smoke.
Maid Marian, the same here babe, cause you know I love you too. Not to mention, unlike me, you can spell. SWEET...
Dobbs, so good to hear from you. Thanks and best wishes on your long awaited trip. It has been too long for you.
In addition, Best Of Wishes to everybody else. It was all of you who took care of me, moreover inspiring me to write this long report... Therefore, thank all of you for the words I wrote...

Ahhhhhhhh, last but not least, Beverly. HeHeHeHeHeHe.
It has been way to long. I must thank you most of all. Not just for pointing out the obvious in my luck with choices of women, but for just merely showing up, I do Thank You.
I killed you with kindness in our last encounter, how can you expect any less on this day.
Okay Beverly, I will write you this one last poem. You really should be careful what you request though...

'Ode to a Lesbian Half My Age.'

She came out of nowhere making all kinds of noise.
At first, I thought she was one of the boys.
She came to speak vulgar, and talk all kinds of crap.
Every step she took led her further in a trap.

After discovering she was a she, I fell for her, yeah right.
Even in my bad choices, I never saw such a sight.
The words I spoke for you were to change your perspective.
Not to mix it up with you, or break out the contraceptive.

I merely sought to change the way you say things when you speak.
To refine your rough woman charm, not to make your heart spring a leak.
Now, you ask me to write this poem, and call it, ‘Ode to a lesbian half my age’.
What a messed up bunch of junk, when I write this on a page.

Hey, I don’t blame you for just liking girls.
With beautiful straight hair, or a head full of curls.
Strange now, we are competitors for the very same thing.
A woman to hold and caress us, to make our hearts sing.

In this story the girl don’t get the girl, I do.
Sorry to make you sad, sorry to make you blue.
You should have known better, telling me to let one go.
I couldn’t believe you came back, I didn’t think you would show.

I am so sorry Beverly; I got tired of waiting.
It was useless looking in the past, and always hating.
I reached out and found the ‘Love’ of my dreams.
In my scenario there is no ‘lesbian half my age’ it seems.

I guess the point to all of this is that even a misguided soul can make a great choice, and find what he seeks. I wish the same for you Beverly... Good Luck in Life.
Now for the finish...(It is good to finish with a song.)

“I had to meet you here today. There’s just so many things to say. I’ve got ties and so do you, and I just think this is the thing to do. So, let’s just Kiss and say Goodbye.”

Kiss Kiss,

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Postby moe. » Thu Nov 20, 8:46 am

Excellent wrap up there, LH. I can't wait for your next trip/report either. With MM with you it is bound to be your best yet. As far as Beverly goes...that is one dyke you want to keep your finger out of Dutch boy ;-) I know where the Stella is hidden, but I'll never talk, I'd like to see it still be there waiting for LH & MM upon their next arrival. I hope we can somehow be there at the same time next year...we'll see. Thanks again for all the time and effort you put into the report.


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Postby Newbie Doo2 » Thu Nov 20, 10:55 am


Very nicely ended.......time to move forward.

Kind Regards

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Postby a bollocks » Sat Nov 22, 5:35 pm



You still got the SAP. This shows me that Snail-boy is crawling forward, at least. One day at a time, first things first, IT'S ALL .............FUCKED.

Your wonderful sense of humour is the most important thing and will carry you through everything.

who is this Maid and where is the static cling? <~~~me

.....just make 'em laff. <~~~Emmitt Kelly

.....just hump a goat... <~~~me again


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Postby hank » Sun Nov 23, 2:36 am

Always looked forward to your reports with great anticipation, gonna miss them. Good luck in your life and thanks for sharing your Odd Perspectives with us.


Postby Fooz » Tue Nov 25, 3:29 pm


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I am gonna read and Dream.

Postby LastHamlet » Tue Nov 25, 4:06 pm

Well, with all the fine reports coming in from many other excellent writers, I guess I can read them, and daydream about my next adventure.
Thanks a load for reading the many pages of this adventure. What a long strange one it was...
Thanks to All,


Postby brandx » Fri Dec 05, 9:31 pm

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Postby brandx » Fri Dec 05, 9:44 pm

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Awesome... Simply Awesome.

Postby LastHamlet » Sun Dec 07, 4:52 am

Such awesome words of a profound nature, and really touching indeed. Yes, the bitter scars of a breakup can be od such a defining way. Where we get the thoughts to look ahead, if indeed successful, only to return and await the passing hours to the foreseen moment of desired passage.
It will always be of such to wonder what it is we all seek. To look into the face of that ‘One’ we believe to be the ‘One’, only to be proven wrong later, can be such the way of life. I guess the question remains in us all “Do we really know the ‘One” we are with right now???”

What I would give for a fly over at anytime BrandX, but such are carefully planned and plotted adventures. I guess the main reason is that when I go, I really let go. It is so hard for me to go and take a little bite of AMS. If such be a good example: I tend to eat the Apple, core and all.
Anytime is a good time to go, so indeed boldly go BrandX, for it is a trip and a place,,,, of a lifetime.
Many great adventures on your upcoming journey.

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Postby TrekknHil » Sun Dec 07, 2:50 pm

LH...I couldn't be happier for you. I am glad the pain is over and you are able to give your love again.

Boldly Go :)


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Postby boneymaroni » Sat Jan 30, 9:37 pm


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