Bloodstains, whities, police and other shit Part I

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des
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Bloodstains, whities, police and other shit Part I

Postby des » Thu Oct 23, 3:23 pm

We landed at Schiphol much earlier than usual due a change in Easyjet’s scheduled flight times!
The 12 of us jumped the train for Centraal Station and the kids bugged the other passengers by playing their i-pods through the huge headphones they’d bought at JLA! We were there to celebrate my nephew’s 21st birthday ... 6 oldies and 6 youngsters aged 18 to 21!
I contemplated where to spend the 3 hours we had to kill before we could check into our hotel, but the kids were way ahead of me!
"Rasta Baby?" asked my daughter as we alighted the train! The others nodded vigorously in agreement!
A ten minute trudge later found us ensconced in the conservatory area of said coffeeshop amidst a flurry of spliff building activity!
30 minutes later and the whippersnappers were ripping the piss out of the old uns for refusing to partake in the never ending cycle of bifters emanating from their table!
I was relieved when midday came and it was time to split ... one more spliff would have seen me slide under the table!
We walked back up to the tram stops in front of the train station and I went in the ticket office to ask which one we needed to catch to take us to our hotel!
"Number 9 ... get off at the zoo!" said the nice lady and I bought enough strippenkaarts for us all to make the journey!

I’d organised the trip and chose this particular hotel because it did a 6 berth room for €530! Some of the youngsters were students or apprentices so it was important to keep the cost down!
Even though check in was 1pm our rooms weren’t quite ready, so we dumped the suitcases in reception and went to explore our surroundings!
The kids wanted more weed, the oldies beer and food! I gave my son a coffeeshop map I’d printed off the ACD website and arranged to meet back at the hotel a 3 o’clock!
We had pancakes and several delicious beers at the bar opposite the zoo tram stop before going and checking into the hotel!
Unsurprisingly the kids didn’t fuckin’ show, so we went up to our rooms to chill awhile!
The 6 berth room may have been cheap but at €320 for 3 nights, the doubles I’d booked for the couples were spartan to say the least!
Still, the rooms and bedding were clean and ours had a large window that opened onto a flat roof that wasn’t overlooked at the back of the hotel! A million fag butts and roach ends scattered on the roof bore testament to the fact that nobody observed the no smoking rule!
While the others catnapped, I built a spliff of White Widow and me and the Missus went down to the nice little park on the corner and sat on a bench and caned it!

I had my second wind now, so I got out my ACD map and we strolled round to the nearest coffeshop to the hotel which was the Het Ballonnetje!
When I went to score the dealer informed me that tobacco smoking was only allowed in the room upstairs! I scored some skunk and built a neat spliff at the big table downstairs!

By the time we got back to the hotel the kids had turned up (absolutely monged) and I had to nag them to get ready for the evening session!

We met down in reception at 7pm and I suggested we walk up to Rembrandtplein for the evening as there’s plenty of bars, coffeeshops and eateries ... something for everyone! However I managed to take a fuckin’ wrong turn somewhere and we ended up at the Waag!
"You’re a fuckin’ knobhead, Dad! We know our way around better than you!" exclaimed my daughter! And with that the whippersnappers split with a vague promise to meet us later in Coco’s Outback!

We strolled up Zeedijk to an Italian restaurant I’ve been to on every visit to Amsterdam! A delicious tagliatelli carbonara and several large beers put me in a better mood and we gawped our way through the RLD to Damrak and hopped on a tram down to Rembrandtplein!
We went in Smokey’s but I won’t buy green there ... just bought hot chocolates and skinned up with the weed I already had! When we went in Coco’s I wasn’t that surprised that the young uns weren’t there, so after a huge frosty beer I whipped out my trusty map and we negotiated our way down to Barney’s Lounge! This place is cool as fuck ... top notch weed, comfy seats and the most stunningly beautiful bird I’ve ever seen working the drinks counter! I scored a gram each of the Red Dragon and Willie Nelson and in the relaxed atmosphere proceeded to get as monged as I’ve been in many a year!
We headed for home, but the long walk gave me my third wind! We said goodnight to the wife’s bro and his missus near the hotel and the rest of us carried on round to the Het Ballonnetje!
As we approached the coffeeshop we heard banging and jeering from above and on looking up were pleasantly surprised to see the kids smirking and giving us the bird from the upstairs window! We got coffees and went up the suicidally steep stairs to join them! They were fucking annihilated ... so much so my daughter had had a whitey and gone down on the cobbles after a particularly heavy session in the original Bulldog!
We stayed in there laughing and joking and ripping the piss out of my daughter till the dealer gave us the boot sometime after midnight!
We staggered the short distance back to the hotel and I gave the Missus a quick tickle and in before falling off to sleep grinning like a Cheshire Cat!

Peace, Des.

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Postby Boner » Thu Oct 23, 4:54 pm

Excellent report Des, cheers.

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Postby FitZerOy » Thu Oct 23, 7:00 pm

Ripping yarn old boy!

Packed full o fun!

Ta!

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Postby bogart » Thu Oct 23, 7:19 pm

your daughter sounds hot.

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Postby YuckyDog1 » Thu Oct 23, 10:29 pm

great report des, thanks for sharing.

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Postby chichi123 » Thu Oct 23, 10:31 pm

Who's blood was shed? Your daughter when she whitied?
cheech

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Postby Generous_J » Fri Oct 24, 2:23 am

Nice Des. Whens part 2!?

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Re: Bloodstains, whities, police and other shit Part I

Postby muckypup » Fri Oct 24, 4:01 am

des wrote: We were there to celebrate my nephew’s 21st birthday


des wrote: 6 oldies and 6 youngsters aged 18 to 21!


des wrote: Even though check in was 1pm our rooms weren’t quite ready


des wrote: pancakes


des wrote: beers at the bar


des wrote: The 6 berth room


des wrote: cheap but at €320 for 3 nights


des wrote: spartan to say the least!


des wrote: window that opened onto a flat roof


des wrote: A million fag butts and roach ends


des wrote: nobody observed the no smoking rule!


des wrote: White Widow


des wrote: sat on a bench


des wrote: tobacco smoking


des wrote: I scored some skunk


des wrote: We met down in reception at 7pm


des wrote: plenty of bars


des wrote: "You’re a fuckin’ knobhead, Dad!


des wrote: tagliatelli carbonara


des wrote: several large beers


des wrote: long walk gave me my third wind!


des wrote: banging and jeering


des wrote: fucking annihilated


des wrote: had a whitey


des wrote: gone down on the cobbles


des wrote: ripping the piss out of my daughter


des wrote: gave the Missus a quick tickle and in before falling off to sleep


Nice of you to post your 'Northerners in Skeggy' trip report, Des. When do you think you'll get round to doing the Amsterdam one?

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des
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Postby des » Fri Oct 24, 9:34 am

chichi123 wrote:Who's blood was shed? Your daughter when she whitied?
cheech


Nah ... nothing as drastic as that! All will be revealed in the next installment!

Peace, Des.

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des
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Re: Bloodstains, whities, police and other shit Part I

Postby des » Fri Oct 24, 9:37 am

muckypup wrote:Nice of you to post your 'Northerners in Skeggy' trip report, Des. When do you think you'll get round to doing the Amsterdam one?


*CHORTLE*

What can I say? I'm a Northern lad with Northern tastes ... I make no apologies for that!

Peace, Des.

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Re: Bloodstains, whities, police and other shit Part I

Postby Purperen » Fri Oct 24, 3:21 pm

Best trip report for some time.
I mean no disrespect to you Des as you seem like a nice fella and I enjoyed reading your report very much. But Muckypup is right, your report reads like a review of an episode of Shameless.

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des
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Re: Bloodstains, whities, police and other shit Part I

Postby des » Fri Oct 24, 9:33 pm

Purperen wrote:Best trip report for some time.
I mean no disrespect to you Des as you seem like a nice fella and I enjoyed reading your report very much. But Muckypup is right, your report reads like a review of an episode of Shameless.


You won't get airs and graces from me! I could bullshit, but I think my reports would be the worse for it?

Peace, Des.

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Postby Generous_J » Sat Oct 25, 1:52 am

No disrespect my arse. Twas a great trip report, Nice one.

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Postby smokey007 » Wed Oct 29, 3:17 pm

yes yes Des, that was a very interesting report. where from up north u from mate?

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des
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Postby des » Wed Oct 29, 6:06 pm

smokey007 wrote:yes yes Des, that was a very interesting report. where from up north u from mate?


Proud Preston!

Peace, Des.


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