Nightmare!!!

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des
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Nightmare!!!

Postby des » Mon Mar 26, 1:45 am

We got to the ferry terminal about 5pm after a boozy ride up from Preston on the coach and a 3 hour sesh round Hull city centre!

Two of the most impoverished of the povs had dropped out due to insufficient funds and with a couple of free trips to A'dam going begging my superstoner bro-in-law and weedmonster nephew were only too happy to step into the breach!

I'd been paranoid about getting seasick on the 11 hour crossing to Rotterdam, but the boat was fuckin' humungous and in the 3 hour wait to set sail I carried on lashing it down in the ferry bar!

I hadn't realised the mooring ropes and shit was the only thing keeping the fucking thing stable and 10 minutes into the voyage I was spewing my ring up for England! I spent the rest of the night in a horrible sweaty fitful sleep interspersed with multiple bouts of projectile vomiting!
When I embarrassed myself by blowing chunks in the breakfast bar the following morning I made a solemn vow that I'd never go to sea again!

As is always the case my seasickness disappeared the second my feet hit dry ground and I cheered up considerably on the coach ride into Amsterdam! It dropped us off across the road from Rasta Baby and the the neff went and scored us a pre-rolled spliff to smoke while we waited for some of the groom to be's chums, who were already in 'Dam, to come and meet us!
In total there were about 30 of us set off down Damrak, but by the time we'd walked round to the RLD the group was already becoming fragmented as people splintered off to satisfy their own particular vices!

I was with 3 of my wife's brothers (the eldest one's future son-in-law's stag do the reason for us being in Mokum) and with none of us being interested in banging the whores, I took them in the original Bulldog where I mistakenly thought the 2 non smokers could get a beer!

They had to sit sipping cokes while the 3 of us caned a big fat bag of White Widow! With the potheads temporarily sated we bar crawled our way over to Rembrandtplein and spent a couple of hours in Coco's Outback playing pool and getting monged on a big fat bag of AK47 that we'd sent the neff to fag from the Bushdoctor coffeeshop!

We only had 7 hours in Dam so it was soon time to make our way back! We called in the DeKuil and got my straight as fuck bro-in-laws smashed out of their fuckin' swedes on vapo bags of Amnesia Haze before going for a fuckin awful meal of steak and chips in a dodgy 'Greasy Larry's Armpit' round the corner!

We just had time for a final spliff in Rasta Baby before the coach came and I made sure the bro-in-law was going to rescue my shit off the boat before jumping a train for Schiphol Airport!

I suspected I was going to be financially bumfucked by just turning up for a flight on spec, but I'd have lubed myself up first if I'd known the fuckin' robdogs at KLM were gonna anally rape me for 232 Euros for a one way flight into Manchester! Cunts!


Peace, Des.
Last edited by des on Mon Mar 26, 1:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

shlo

Postby shlo » Mon Mar 26, 1:53 am

That is a good story. You got fucked on the plane home. Good story though.

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Postby des » Mon Mar 26, 2:09 am

shlo wrote:You got fucked on the plane home.


I know, but I would've swam home rather than set foot on that fuckin' boat again! My ab muscles are in agony from all the retching I did on Friday night!


Peace, Des.

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.

Postby chichi123 » Tue Mar 27, 3:33 pm

Reminder for Tak.....DO NOT RENT YOUR BOAT TO DES.
Cheech

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Re: .

Postby des » Tue Mar 27, 3:57 pm

chichi123 wrote:Reminder for Tak.....DO NOT RENT YOUR BOAT TO DES.
Cheech


Oddly enough, motion sickness is the main thing putting me off renting a houseboat in Amsterdam!

Have anyone who suffers from 'mal de mer' ever slept on a houseboat?

What was it like?


Peace, Des.

Birdman

Postby Birdman » Tue Mar 27, 4:00 pm

All that for 7 hours in Amsterdam?

dude.

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Re: .

Postby woody » Tue Mar 27, 4:00 pm

des wrote:
chichi123 wrote:Reminder for Tak.....DO NOT RENT YOUR BOAT TO DES.
Cheech


Oddly enough, motion sickness is the main thing putting me off renting a houseboat in Amsterdam!

Have anyone who suffers from 'mal de mer' ever slept on a houseboat?

What was it like?


Peace, Des.


No comparison to the north sea in winter, Des. Don't be such a wimp.

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Postby des » Tue Mar 27, 4:10 pm

Birdman wrote:All that for 7 hours in Amsterdam?

dude.


It was worth it just to see my bro-in-laws reaction to the vapo bags!

The most pious one's talking about buying a volcano for his barbecues this summer!


Peace, Des.

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Re: .

Postby des » Tue Mar 27, 4:16 pm

woody wrote:
No comparison to the north sea in winter, Des. Don't be such a wimp.


Sitting on the deck of a houseboat, spliff in one hand, a glass of wine in the other is very appealing!

I'm sure I'll pluck up the nerve one of these days!


Peace, Des.

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Postby Cat » Tue Mar 27, 5:07 pm

Funny story.

When I was a kid we used to take the Holland America Line from NYC to Rotterdam on trips to and fro. About a 6 day voyage. I'd always get sick for a day or two...sipping soup and eating crackers and ralphing into the bowl.

But it always passed and I'd have my sea legs again. I'd much rather sail then fly. The food is good and theres plenty of booze!

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Postby des » Tue Mar 27, 7:30 pm

Cat wrote:

When I was a kid we used to take the Holland America Line from NYC to Rotterdam on trips to and fro. About a 6 day voyage. I'd always get sick for a day or two...sipping soup and eating crackers and ralphing into the bowl.

But it always passed and I'd have my sea legs again. I'd much rather sail then fly. The food is good and theres plenty of booze!


The boat was great, half a dozen bars, 2 cinemas, a casino and a couple of nice restaurants!

Everyone but me had a whale of a time ... and the lads reckoned security was pretty lax at Rotterdam ... if you know what I mean!


Peace, Des.

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Re: .

Postby TAK » Thu Mar 29, 9:36 pm

des wrote:
chichi123 wrote:Reminder for Tak.....DO NOT RENT YOUR BOAT TO DES.
Cheech


Oddly enough, motion sickness is the main thing putting me off renting a houseboat in Amsterdam!

Have anyone who suffers from 'mal de mer' ever slept on a houseboat?

What was it like?


Peace, Des.


Damn,,, Let's clear this up ounce and for all. There is a huge difference form being on an airplane or a ship that is constantly moving or rolling back and forth with no escape from it, from a houseboat that is tied firmly to a dock and only rocks a little when an occasional boat goes by.

The speed limit in the canals in Amsterdam is only 7 KPH ( that's 4 miles per hour in American). Though not everybody obeys the speed limit as any where else in the world. Even a violent rocking on a houseboat goes away in a few seconds. It is not constant, and your inner ear does not have time to be confused into motion sickness.

I have sympathies for people that get motion sickness. I experienced it ounce when I was in a small plane following the loops of the Shenandoah river. That river is a snake and we kept going back and forth, back and forth. I felt like I turned green.

Des,
Please come by when you are in town and let me show you how it is on a house boat. PM me for details.

Dag
TAK

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Re: .

Postby des » Fri Mar 30, 1:10 am

TAK wrote:
des wrote:
chichi123 wrote:Reminder for Tak.....DO NOT RENT YOUR BOAT TO DES.
Cheech


Oddly enough, motion sickness is the main thing putting me off renting a houseboat in Amsterdam!

Have anyone who suffers from 'mal de mer' ever slept on a houseboat?

What was it like?


Peace, Des.




Damn,,, Let's clear this up ounce and for all. There is a huge difference form being on an airplane or a ship that is constantly moving or rolling back and forth with no escape from it, from a houseboat that is tied firmly to a dock and only rocks a little when an occasional boat goes by.

The speed limit in the canals in Amsterdam is only 7 KPH ( that's 4 miles per hour in American). Though not everybody obeys the speed limit as any where else in the world. Even a violent rocking on a houseboat goes away in a few seconds. It is not constant, and your inner ear does not have time to be confused into motion sickness.

I have sympathies for people that get motion sickness. I experienced it ounce when I was in a small plane following the loops of the Shenandoah river. That river is a snake and we kept going back and forth, back and forth. I felt like I turned green.

Des,
Please come by when you are in town and let me show you how it is on a house boat. PM me for details.

Dag
TAK


Thanks Tak, it would be great to check it out before making a commitment!

I've nothing concrete planned for the rest of this year, but if funds allow we'll probably make it over in the autumn! I'll PM you when I know some dates to see if you're in town!


Peace, Des.

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Re: .

Postby a bollocks » Fri Mar 30, 1:28 am

TAK wrote:
des wrote:
chichi123 wrote:Reminder for Tak.....DO NOT RENT YOUR BOAT TO DES.
Cheech


Oddly enough, motion sickness is the main thing putting me off renting a houseboat in Amsterdam!

Have anyone who suffers from 'mal de mer' ever slept on a houseboat?

What was it like?


Peace, Des.


Damn,,, Let's clear this up ounce and for all. There is a huge difference form being on an airplane or a ship that is constantly moving or rolling back and forth with no escape from it, from a houseboat that is tied firmly to a dock and only rocks a little when an occasional boat goes by.

The speed limit in the canals in Amsterdam is only 7 KPH ( that's 4 miles per hour in American). Though not everybody obeys the speed limit as any where else in the world. Even a violent rocking on a houseboat goes away in a few seconds. It is not constant, and your inner ear does not have time to be confused into motion sickness.

I have sympathies for people that get motion sickness. I experienced it ounce when I was in a small plane following the loops of the Shenandoah river. That river is a snake and we kept going back and forth, back and forth. I felt like I turned green.

Des,
Please come by when you are in town and let me show you how it is on a house boat. PM me for details.

Dag
TAK


i stayed on that freakin boat for a week. Watched a freakin parade go by on the canal.

NO WAVES. None. NADA.

...and I looked for that goddamn ounce. Never found it. :oÞ

i did find the GIANT ABSINTHE.

WOOT!

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Re: .

Postby des » Fri Mar 30, 2:04 am

a bollocks wrote:
i stayed on that freakin boat for a week.!


I've checked out the location of Tak's boat on a map! Am I right in thinking it's only a 10 minute walk from the Pink Floyd coffeeshop?


Peace, Des.

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Re: .

Postby TAK » Fri Mar 30, 10:53 am

des wrote:
a bollocks wrote:
i stayed on that freakin boat for a week.!


I've checked out the location of Tak's boat on a map! Am I right in thinking it's only a 10 minute walk from the Pink Floyd coffeeshop?


Peace, Des.


Wrong. It is a 3 minute walk to/from Pink Floyd.

As my wife puts it, "Only ninety seconds to Barneys." But the Relax is closer.

Dag
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Re: .

Postby woody » Fri Mar 30, 11:10 am

TAK wrote:
des wrote:
a bollocks wrote:
i stayed on that freakin boat for a week.!


I've checked out the location of Tak's boat on a map! Am I right in thinking it's only a 10 minute walk from the Pink Floyd coffeeshop?


Peace, Des.


Wrong. It is a 3 minute walk to/from Pink Floyd.

As my wife puts it, "Only ninety seconds to Barneys." But the Relax is closer.

Dag
TAK


I'll try to make a point of walking by to say hello if you're in, TAK.

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Re: .

Postby des » Fri Mar 30, 7:13 pm

TAK wrote: It is a 3 minute walk to/from Pink Floyd.



What's it like being the luckiest man in the World?


Peace, Des.

Birdman

Re: .

Postby Birdman » Fri Mar 30, 7:15 pm

des wrote:
TAK wrote: It is a 3 minute walk to/from Pink Floyd.



What's it like being the luckiest man in the World?


Peace, Des.


I thought that was MHD?

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Re: .

Postby des » Fri Mar 30, 7:17 pm

Birdman wrote:
des wrote:
TAK wrote: It is a 3 minute walk to/from Pink Floyd.



What's it like being the luckiest man in the World?


Peace, Des.


I thought that was MHD?


It's gotta be a toss up ...?


Peace, Des.

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headed to the Dam

Postby The Ugly American » Wed May 09, 7:13 am

so it has been a long time since the last post for me but I am headed to the Dam on the 18th so I was lurking about the forum.

Funny enough I see Des and I visit the same places. DeKuil is where I bought my first bag of Amsterdam weed back in 1998 and I always take new visitors there.

Cocos is also a favorite but isn't it in the Leidesplein Des?

Best I can recall we never agreed on much so hope I didn't spoil your favorite spots Des 8).

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Re: headed to the Dam

Postby des » Wed May 09, 9:36 am

The Ugly American wrote:so it has been a long time since the last post for me but I am headed to the Dam on the 18th so I was lurking about the forum.

Funny enough I see Des and I visit the same places. DeKuil is where I bought my first bag of Amsterdam weed back in 1998 and I always take new visitors there.

Cocos is also a favorite but isn't it in the Leidesplein Des?

Best I can recall we never agreed on much so hope I didn't spoil your favorite spots Des 8).


Good to see you back UA ... hope you stick around for a while!

Coco's is definitely just off Rembrandtplein, about 20 yards down one of the streets that run off it!


Peace, Des.

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Re: headed to the Dam

Postby Beer » Wed May 09, 9:44 am

des wrote:
The Ugly American wrote:so it has been a long time since the last post for me but I am headed to the Dam on the 18th so I was lurking about the forum.

Funny enough I see Des and I visit the same places. DeKuil is where I bought my first bag of Amsterdam weed back in 1998 and I always take new visitors there.

Cocos is also a favorite but isn't it in the Leidesplein Des?

Best I can recall we never agreed on much so hope I didn't spoil your favorite spots Des 8).
Good to see you back UA ... hope you stick around for a while!

Coco's is definitely just off Rembrandtplein, about 20 yards down one of the streets that run off it!
Thorbeckeplein. I should know, I almost lived there.

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Re: headed to the Dam

Postby des » Wed May 09, 11:54 am

Beer wrote:
des wrote:
The Ugly American wrote:so it has been a long time since the last post for me but I am headed to the Dam on the 18th so I was lurking about the forum.

Funny enough I see Des and I visit the same places. DeKuil is where I bought my first bag of Amsterdam weed back in 1998 and I always take new visitors there.

Cocos is also a favorite but isn't it in the Leidesplein Des?

Best I can recall we never agreed on much so hope I didn't spoil your favorite spots Des 8).
Good to see you back UA ... hope you stick around for a while!

Coco's is definitely just off Rembrandtplein, about 20 yards down one of the streets that run off it!
Thorbeckeplein. I should know, I almost lived there.


It's just off Rembrandtplein though ... innit!


Peace, Des.

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Re: headed to the Dam

Postby woody » Wed May 09, 1:20 pm

The Ugly American wrote:so it has been a long time since the last post for me but I am headed to the Dam on the 18th so I was lurking about the forum.

Funny enough I see Des and I visit the same places. DeKuil is where I bought my first bag of Amsterdam weed back in 1998 and I always take new visitors there.

Cocos is also a favorite but isn't it in the Leidesplein Des?

Best I can recall we never agreed on much so hope I didn't spoil your favorite spots Des 8).


I've missed your 'good news from Iraq' posts.

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Re: headed to the Dam

Postby TAK » Wed May 09, 3:50 pm

Beer wrote:
des wrote:
The Ugly American wrote:so it has been a long time since the last post for me but I am headed to the Dam on the 18th so I was lurking about the forum.

Funny enough I see Des and I visit the same places. DeKuil is where I bought my first bag of Amsterdam weed back in 1998 and I always take new visitors there.

Cocos is also a favorite but isn't it in the Leidesplein Des?

Best I can recall we never agreed on much so hope I didn't spoil your favorite spots Des 8).
Good to see you back UA ... hope you stick around for a while!

Coco's is definitely just off Rembrandtplein, about 20 yards down one of the streets that run off it!
Thorbeckeplein. I should know, I almost lived there.


Thorbeckeplein is adjacent to Rembrantplein.

Don't confuse it with the Coco's on Neiuwendijk.

Dag
TAK

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two cocos?

Postby The Ugly American » Sat May 12, 11:17 pm

I will try and come back more frequently but no promises 8) just so damn busy.

I realize now that I had you confused with someone else on the boards Des and we actually did agree on a few things =p.

Ok either I am getting much more stoned than I remember or there must be two Coco's Outbacks with one in the Leidesplein, across the square from the Three Sisters. Will confirm next week 8).

Woody,

As for Iraq I just attended the Milbloggers conference in Arlington VA last Friday and Saturday and it was inspirational. I was surrounded by patriots who have put their lives on the line in this war, some who had suffered serious injuries.

Hundreds of men and women who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan most having served multiple tours, reporters who have been embeded with the troops a half a dozen times told about the stories they filed that were never printed.

A father whose son made the ultimate sacrifice gave an impromptu address to the crowd. His message along with every other soldier,airman, marine, sailor and their families all had the same message:

We are winning, it is worth every sacrifice they have made and they do not want to be forced to quit before their work is done.

Too bad you weren't there Woody to set them all straight.

I do regret not having the time to join several other attendees who made a day trip to Walter Reed that Friday. Another father whose son has undergone 39 surgeries to treat wounds he suffered in Iraq invited me to come back and visit him and other soldiers being treated there.

I will take him up on that invitation very soon.

Oh and I encourage all of you American or otherwise to adopt a soldier or donate to the Soldiers Angels project.

http://www.soldiersangels.com/

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Postby a bollocks » Sat May 12, 11:24 pm

that is what the VA bill is for.

our priorities are askew. Money for nothing and your sectarian violence for free.

it is written. We are NOT winning.

Bush, as of late, has said, "We hafta git the violence down to an acceptable level. Heh Heh. And now the Penguin, Burgess Cheney will quack.

jesus.

WOOT!

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Postby The Ugly American » Sat May 12, 11:30 pm

My apologies to all. I was trying not to be political and let Woody suck me in. Moderators please feel free to delete or move my comments as you see fit.

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Postby a bollocks » Sat May 12, 11:32 pm

bah. no harm

do NOT delete mine dammit.

and now back to nightmare!

WOOT!


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