Pooing in Amsterdam

[Dazzler]

What happens if you're constipated?

Excuse me for the nauseatingly apposite and vivid idiom, but are you not batting on something of a sticky wicket here?

[Swin]

Jesus I never sit on a public toilet ever. I put tissure first into the water so it doesn't spray up then I hover at a hopefully unspraying distance. I went in one today that had the seat covers on a convayer belt and couldn't be arsed to fuck with it and did the hover act.

This tactic is very healthy for the leg muscles. Once I remember being pregnant and my legs were a quivering like I was a shitting razer blades and suddenly I had to sit. I was mortified and almost in tears. But wtf I lived to tell such a fantastic story.

This reminds me of a poem often seen scrawled on cubicle doors public toilets in UK

'It's no good standing on the seat
The crabs in here can jump six feet
It's no good going round next door
The crabs in there jump ten feet more'

Incidentally I am currently (re)reading a suberb little book called 'Secret Amsterdam' by Marjolijn van Eys and Delphine Robiot (published by Jonglez if anyone fancies buying a copy)

It's absolutely superb - one of the best books about Amsterdam I have ever seen - a guide book really but as the title implies 200 'secret' or little known things and places to see spread over nine areas of the city.

After 50+ visits spread over 44 years at least 100 of them were totally unknown to me including back on topic here) the toilets at the Cobra cafe at the Rijksmuseum end of Museum Plein near those 'IAMSTERDAM' letters.
Apparently the toilet cubicle doors are transparent and don't become opaque until you lock the door!

Could be very un-nerving I would have thought - enough to bind you up for the whole holiday

[chichi123]

A lady cleaning an airport loo told me the 1st stall is always the cleanest because everybody THINKS it's the dirtiest so use that one.

[worldcitizen1723]

A lady cleaning an airport loo told me the 1st stall is always the cleanest because everybody THINKS it's the dirtiest so use that one.

Funny, always wondered about that, watching pit stop behaviors, appears spot on

[JULIET]

What happens if you're constipated?

Excuse me for the nauseatingly apposite and vivid idiom, but are you not batting on something of a sticky wicket here?

No - cos the funny thing is I always suffer from constipation when I go on my hols!

That's what made Mikey O's story so funny!

[JULIET]

What happens if you're constipated?

Excuse me for the nauseatingly apposite and vivid idiom, but are you not batting on something of a sticky wicket here?

No - cos the funny thing is I always suffer from constipation when I go on my hols!

That's what made Mikey O's story so ridiculous!

[Dazzler]

What happens if you're constipated?

Excuse me for the nauseatingly apposite and vivid idiom, but are you not batting on something of a sticky wicket here?

No - cos the funny thing is I always suffer from constipation when I go on my hols!

That's what made Mikey O's story so funny!

What a delight you are.

[JULIET]

.

[JULIET]

.

[JULIET]

What happens if you're constipated?

Excuse me for the nauseatingly apposite and vivid idiom, but are you not batting on something of a sticky wicket here?

No - cos the funny thing is I always suffer from constipation when I go on my hols!

That's what made Mikey O's story so funny!

What a delight you are.

Dazzle - you did ask!



BAS

Are we not able to edit our posts now as I've tried several times and it hasn't allowed me to do it?

[chichi123]

Really? Constipated? Surely you jest.

[Banks]

Really? Constipated? Surely you jest.

Jut don't call me Shirley, okay?

I'd guess it was before the "cure" was applied, mais non?

[jerkypete49]

Really? Constipated? Surely you jest.

Personally, I think she's full of shit.

[jerkypete49]

EDITED upon second thought.

[jerkypete49]

EDITED upon second thought.

[Generous_J]

Jesus I never sit on a public toilet ever. I put tissure first into the water so it doesn't spray up then I hover at a hopefully unspraying distance. I went in one today that had the seat covers on a convayer belt and couldn't be arsed to fuck with it and did the hover act.

This tactic is very healthy for the leg muscles. Once I remember being pregnant and my legs were a quivering like I was a shitting razer blades and suddenly I had to sit. I was mortified and almost in tears. But wtf I lived to tell such a fantastic story.

This reminds me of a poem often seen scrawled on cubicle doors public toilets in UK

'It's no good standing on the seat
The crabs in here can jump six feet
It's no good going round next door
The crabs in there jump ten feet more'

Incidentally I am currently (re)reading a suberb little book called 'Secret Amsterdam' by Marjolijn van Eys and Delphine Robiot (published by Jonglez if anyone fancies buying a copy)

It's absolutely superb - one of the best books about Amsterdam I have ever seen - a guide book really but as the title implies 200 'secret' or little known things and places to see spread over nine areas of the city.

After 50+ visits spread over 44 years at least 100 of them were totally unknown to me including back on topic here) the toilets at the Cobra cafe at the Rijksmuseum end of Museum Plein near those 'IAMSTERDAM' letters.
Apparently the toilet cubicle doors are transparent and don't become opaque until you lock the door!

Could be very un-nerving I would have thought - enough to bind you up for the whole holiday

Interesti g, cheers. May well get that.

[chigusa]

.

[Rudy]

.

[MileHighDenver]

Incidentally I am currently (re)reading a suberb little book called 'Secret Amsterdam' by Marjolijn van Eys and Delphine Robiot (published by Jonglez if anyone fancies buying a copy)

It's absolutely superb - one of the best books about Amsterdam I have ever seen - a guide book really but as the title implies 200 'secret' or little known things and places to see spread over nine areas of the city.

After 50+ visits spread over 44 years at least 100 of them were totally unknown to me including back on topic here) the toilets at the Cobra cafe at the Rijksmuseum end of Museum Plein near those 'IAMSTERDAM' letters.
Apparently the toilet cubicle doors are transparent and don't become opaque until you lock the door!

Could be very un-nerving I would have thought - enough to bind you up for the whole holiday

Theres another called "Amsterdam Irregulars". Mostly photo's but also many well kept secrets of the city. My partners garden is featured in it.

[alpha]

Incidentally I am currently (re)reading a suberb little book called 'Secret Amsterdam' by Marjolijn van Eys and Delphine Robiot (published by Jonglez if anyone fancies buying a copy)

It's absolutely superb - one of the best books about Amsterdam I have ever seen - a guide book really but as the title implies 200 'secret' or little known things and places to see spread over nine areas of the city.

After 50+ visits spread over 44 years at least 100 of them were totally unknown to me including back on topic here) the toilets at the Cobra cafe at the Rijksmuseum end of Museum Plein near those 'IAMSTERDAM' letters.
Apparently the toilet cubicle doors are transparent and don't become opaque until you lock the door!

Could be very un-nerving I would have thought - enough to bind you up for the whole holiday

Theres another called "Amsterdam Irregulars". Mostly photo's but also many well kept secrets of the city. My partners garden is featured in it.

Reading either of these books would be a far cry more entertaining than one trick's posts.

[alpha]

Anyone notice one trick is pooing all over Channels including this frequently asked questions, but what's quite funny is he believes they're pertinent and permanent!

[patrick]

Yes Alpha I have noticed what a dick head I am here daily. But thank you for pointing out the obvious.

Just remember I am a stupid coward who can't control himself.

[alpha]

Yes Alpha I have noticed what a dick head I am here daily. But thank you for pointing out the obvious.

Just remember I am a stupid coward who can't control himself.

I'd never call you a stupid coward, since i don't believe you are. However, you are a bit dim, when you refuse to take anyone's advice and you've incessantly been telling 'dim' to fuck off, so why don'cha?

People here are tiring of you telling yourself to fuck off.

[patrick]

You think your the first to explain that,

[patrick]

.

[chigusa]

nobody opens paddywank's threads and it has made him desperate.

dance, paddywank, dance.

[Rudy]

Some things simply don`t make any sense.

That can be very confusing and upsetting to some of those who try to make sense.

[alpha]

Some things don't Rudy, specially 'round here. Patrick is a guest and his thread two below this one have 0 replies and views.

Could this be the new way someone is banned, on this soon to be replaced forum? Some can only hope i imagine.

[Cat]

Adventures in Pissing......

<img src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/xQB4X4_wiXI/hqdefault.jpg">

[Bohannon]

That looks like MHD bleeding the weasel.