Pooing in Amsterdam

Frequently Asked questions about Amsterdam.
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Dazzler
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Postby Dazzler » Sun May 13, 11:06 am

JULIET wrote:
What happens if you're constipated?


Excuse me for the nauseatingly apposite and vivid idiom, but are you not batting on something of a sticky wicket here?

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Postby Swin » Sun May 13, 4:51 pm

chichi123 wrote:Jesus I never sit on a public toilet ever. I put tissure first into the water so it doesn't spray up then I hover at a hopefully unspraying distance. I went in one today that had the seat covers on a convayer belt and couldn't be arsed to fuck with it and did the hover act.

This tactic is very healthy for the leg muscles. Once I remember being pregnant and my legs were a quivering like I was a shitting razer blades and suddenly I had to sit. I was mortified and almost in tears. But wtf I lived to tell such a fantastic story.


This reminds me of a poem often seen scrawled on cubicle doors public toilets in UK

'It's no good standing on the seat
The crabs in here can jump six feet
It's no good going round next door
The crabs in there jump ten feet more'

Incidentally I am currently (re)reading a suberb little book called 'Secret Amsterdam' by Marjolijn van Eys and Delphine Robiot (published by Jonglez if anyone fancies buying a copy)

It's absolutely superb - one of the best books about Amsterdam I have ever seen - a guide book really but as the title implies 200 'secret' or little known things and places to see spread over nine areas of the city.

After 50+ visits spread over 44 years at least 100 of them were totally unknown to me including back on topic here) the toilets at the Cobra cafe at the Rijksmuseum end of Museum Plein near those 'IAMSTERDAM' letters.
Apparently the toilet cubicle doors are transparent and don't become opaque until you lock the door!

Could be very un-nerving I would have thought - enough to bind you up for the whole holiday

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chichi123
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Postby chichi123 » Sun May 13, 5:12 pm

A lady cleaning an airport loo told me the 1st stall is always the cleanest because everybody THINKS it's the dirtiest so use that one.

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Postby worldcitizen1723 » Sun May 13, 5:15 pm

chichi123 wrote:A lady cleaning an airport loo told me the 1st stall is always the cleanest because everybody THINKS it's the dirtiest so use that one.


Funny, always wondered about that, watching pit stop behaviors, appears spot on

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Postby JULIET » Sun May 13, 7:11 pm

Dazzler wrote:
JULIET wrote:
What happens if you're constipated?


Excuse me for the nauseatingly apposite and vivid idiom, but are you not batting on something of a sticky wicket here?


No - cos the funny thing is I always suffer from constipation when I go on my hols!

That's what made Mikey O's story so funny!

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JULIET
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Postby JULIET » Sun May 13, 7:15 pm

JULIET wrote:
Dazzler wrote:
JULIET wrote:
What happens if you're constipated?


Excuse me for the nauseatingly apposite and vivid idiom, but are you not batting on something of a sticky wicket here?


No - cos the funny thing is I always suffer from constipation when I go on my hols!

That's what made Mikey O's story so ridiculous!

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Postby Dazzler » Sun May 13, 7:43 pm

JULIET wrote:
Dazzler wrote:
JULIET wrote:
What happens if you're constipated?


Excuse me for the nauseatingly apposite and vivid idiom, but are you not batting on something of a sticky wicket here?


No - cos the funny thing is I always suffer from constipation when I go on my hols!

That's what made Mikey O's story so funny!


What a delight you are.

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JULIET
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Postby JULIET » Sun May 13, 9:45 pm

.

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JULIET
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Postby JULIET » Sun May 13, 9:47 pm

.

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Postby JULIET » Sun May 13, 9:53 pm

Dazzler wrote:
JULIET wrote:
Dazzler wrote:
JULIET wrote:
What happens if you're constipated?


Excuse me for the nauseatingly apposite and vivid idiom, but are you not batting on something of a sticky wicket here?


No - cos the funny thing is I always suffer from constipation when I go on my hols!

That's what made Mikey O's story so funny!


What a delight you are.


Dazzle - you did ask!



BAS

Are we not able to edit our posts now as I've tried several times and it hasn't allowed me to do it?

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Postby chichi123 » Mon May 14, 9:39 pm

Really? Constipated? Surely you jest.

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Postby Banks » Mon May 14, 11:08 pm

chichi123 wrote:Really? Constipated? Surely you jest.


Jut don't call me Shirley, okay?

I'd guess it was before the "cure" was applied, mais non?

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Postby jerkypete49 » Fri Jul 13, 11:50 pm

chichi123 wrote:Really? Constipated? Surely you jest.


Personally, I think she's full of shit.

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Postby jerkypete49 » Thu Aug 02, 9:12 pm

EDITED upon second thought.

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Postby jerkypete49 » Thu Aug 02, 9:13 pm

EDITED upon second thought.

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Postby Generous_J » Fri Aug 03, 9:10 pm

Swin wrote:
chichi123 wrote:Jesus I never sit on a public toilet ever. I put tissure first into the water so it doesn't spray up then I hover at a hopefully unspraying distance. I went in one today that had the seat covers on a convayer belt and couldn't be arsed to fuck with it and did the hover act.

This tactic is very healthy for the leg muscles. Once I remember being pregnant and my legs were a quivering like I was a shitting razer blades and suddenly I had to sit. I was mortified and almost in tears. But wtf I lived to tell such a fantastic story.


This reminds me of a poem often seen scrawled on cubicle doors public toilets in UK

'It's no good standing on the seat
The crabs in here can jump six feet
It's no good going round next door
The crabs in there jump ten feet more'

Incidentally I am currently (re)reading a suberb little book called 'Secret Amsterdam' by Marjolijn van Eys and Delphine Robiot (published by Jonglez if anyone fancies buying a copy)

It's absolutely superb - one of the best books about Amsterdam I have ever seen - a guide book really but as the title implies 200 'secret' or little known things and places to see spread over nine areas of the city.

After 50+ visits spread over 44 years at least 100 of them were totally unknown to me including back on topic here) the toilets at the Cobra cafe at the Rijksmuseum end of Museum Plein near those 'IAMSTERDAM' letters.
Apparently the toilet cubicle doors are transparent and don't become opaque until you lock the door!

Could be very un-nerving I would have thought - enough to bind you up for the whole holiday


Interesti g, cheers. May well get that.

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Postby chigusa » Sat Apr 04, 8:24 am

.

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Postby Rudy » Sat Apr 04, 4:24 pm

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Postby MileHighDenver » Sat Apr 04, 5:33 pm

Swin wrote:Incidentally I am currently (re)reading a suberb little book called 'Secret Amsterdam' by Marjolijn van Eys and Delphine Robiot (published by Jonglez if anyone fancies buying a copy)

It's absolutely superb - one of the best books about Amsterdam I have ever seen - a guide book really but as the title implies 200 'secret' or little known things and places to see spread over nine areas of the city.

After 50+ visits spread over 44 years at least 100 of them were totally unknown to me including back on topic here) the toilets at the Cobra cafe at the Rijksmuseum end of Museum Plein near those 'IAMSTERDAM' letters.
Apparently the toilet cubicle doors are transparent and don't become opaque until you lock the door!

Could be very un-nerving I would have thought - enough to bind you up for the whole holiday


Theres another called "Amsterdam Irregulars". Mostly photo's but also many well kept secrets of the city. My partners garden is featured in it.

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Postby alpha » Sun Apr 05, 2:34 am

MileHighDenver wrote:
Swin wrote:Incidentally I am currently (re)reading a suberb little book called 'Secret Amsterdam' by Marjolijn van Eys and Delphine Robiot (published by Jonglez if anyone fancies buying a copy)

It's absolutely superb - one of the best books about Amsterdam I have ever seen - a guide book really but as the title implies 200 'secret' or little known things and places to see spread over nine areas of the city.

After 50+ visits spread over 44 years at least 100 of them were totally unknown to me including back on topic here) the toilets at the Cobra cafe at the Rijksmuseum end of Museum Plein near those 'IAMSTERDAM' letters.
Apparently the toilet cubicle doors are transparent and don't become opaque until you lock the door!

Could be very un-nerving I would have thought - enough to bind you up for the whole holiday


Theres another called "Amsterdam Irregulars". Mostly photo's but also many well kept secrets of the city. My partners garden is featured in it.


Reading either of these books would be a far cry more entertaining than one trick's posts.

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Postby alpha » Mon Apr 06, 12:05 am

Anyone notice one trick is pooing all over Channels including this frequently asked questions, but what's quite funny is he believes they're pertinent and permanent!

patrick

Postby patrick » Mon Apr 06, 1:35 am

Yes Alpha I have noticed what a dick head I am here daily. But thank you for pointing out the obvious.

Just remember I am a stupid coward who can't control himself.

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Postby alpha » Mon Apr 06, 2:52 am

patrick wrote:Yes Alpha I have noticed what a dick head I am here daily. But thank you for pointing out the obvious.

Just remember I am a stupid coward who can't control himself.


I'd never call you a stupid coward, since i don't believe you are. However, you are a bit dim, when you refuse to take anyone's advice and you've incessantly been telling 'dim' to fuck off, so why don'cha?

People here are tiring of you telling yourself to fuck off.

patrick

Postby patrick » Mon Apr 06, 2:04 pm

You think your the first to explain that,

patrick

Postby patrick » Mon Apr 06, 2:05 pm

.

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chigusa
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Postby chigusa » Mon Apr 06, 3:19 pm

nobody opens paddywank's threads and it has made him desperate.

dance, paddywank, dance.

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Rudy
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Postby Rudy » Mon Apr 06, 7:57 pm

Some things simply don`t make any sense.

That can be very confusing and upsetting to some of those who try to make sense.

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alpha
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Postby alpha » Mon Apr 06, 8:10 pm

Some things don't Rudy, specially 'round here. Patrick is a guest and his thread two below this one have 0 replies and views.

Could this be the new way someone is banned, on this soon to be replaced forum? Some can only hope i imagine.

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Postby Cat » Sun May 10, 2:27 pm

Adventures in Pissing......

<img src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/xQB4X4_wiXI/hqdefault.jpg">

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Postby Bohannon » Sun May 10, 4:33 pm

That looks like MHD bleeding the weasel.


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