Pooing in Amsterdam

Frequently Asked questions about Amsterdam.
Only moderators can post here.
RDL

Pooing in Amsterdam

Postby RDL » Sat Mar 24, 9:43 am

Does anyone know where is the best place to poo in Amsterdam?

User avatar
muckypup
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 6977
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2:38 am
Location: United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

Postby muckypup » Sat Mar 24, 11:57 am

The 'public' toilets at the Kras offer a most civilised pooing experience. Through the main doors, bust a left past the Brasserie, past the Winter Garden and up a mini flight of stairs. Quiet, clean and excellent for a relaxed shit.

User avatar
chigusa
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 4584
Joined: Mon Mar 21, 10:34 am
Location: with his mouth full of teddies, jumbo's urinating seems defiant.

Postby chigusa » Sat Mar 24, 12:30 pm

one of the nicest shits i've had in amsterdam happened in that horrible little lavvy downstairs at the dutch flowers.

User avatar
Red Pleb
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 4336
Joined: Wed Jan 24, 4:20 pm
Location: ...Where it's at.

Postby Red Pleb » Sat Mar 24, 1:02 pm


User avatar
Generous_J
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 6024
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 6:10 pm
Location: Tír na nÓg
Contact:

Postby Generous_J » Sat Mar 24, 2:01 pm

I like that this is a FAQ.

User avatar
chigusa
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 4584
Joined: Mon Mar 21, 10:34 am
Location: with his mouth full of teddies, jumbo's urinating seems defiant.

Postby chigusa » Sat Mar 24, 2:14 pm

there are some really rough women at the back of central station who i'm sure will let you shit on them for a small consideration.

User avatar
Old Fart
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 6990
Joined: Sun Jul 29, 8:36 pm
Location: @ 7,230 Feet

Postby Old Fart » Sat Mar 24, 7:34 pm

Bas...if you ever decide to give up on Channels.nl forums as it exists today please give us a chance to keep it going, don't just turn out the lights. This sort of humor doesn't exit anywhere else on the internets.

User avatar
Generous_J
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 6024
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 6:10 pm
Location: Tír na nÓg
Contact:

Postby Generous_J » Sat Mar 24, 7:39 pm

Muckypup, to his credit, has already offered to purchase the domain name.
That being said, I imagine it would remain more entertaining in its current incarnation.

User avatar
Generous_J
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 6024
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 6:10 pm
Location: Tír na nÓg
Contact:

Postby Generous_J » Sat Mar 24, 7:40 pm

Generous_J wrote:Muckypup, to his credit, has already offered to purchase the domain name and run the site in the unfortunate event of its prenatural demise.
That being said, I imagine it would remain more entertaining in its current incarnation.

User avatar
Generous_J
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 6024
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 6:10 pm
Location: Tír na nÓg
Contact:

Postby Generous_J » Sat Mar 24, 7:45 pm

Wooaah. I tried to edit my post and double posted.
For some reason I can't edit or delete my post?
Changes.

User avatar
Swin
super power poster
super power poster
Posts: 1388
Joined: Sun May 20, 8:37 pm
Location: Gollem Raamsteeg

Postby Swin » Sat Mar 24, 8:50 pm

I have to say Mucky has it spot on, the Kras is probably the most enjoyable spot for a dump that I have found in 40 years of visiting Amsterdam although I do recall an eye of a needle job in The Pulitzer one morning after a particularly heavy night in the Gollem.

worldcitizen1723
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 4205
Joined: Sat Jul 26, 1:42 am

Postby worldcitizen1723 » Sat Mar 24, 10:02 pm

I can second the Pulitzer

User avatar
chichi123
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 9534
Joined: Thu Dec 02, 12:53 am
Location: usa

Postby chichi123 » Sat Mar 24, 10:10 pm

I make sure I poo before I leave home. Poo in a pubic loo is horrid.

User avatar
chigusa
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 4584
Joined: Mon Mar 21, 10:34 am
Location: with his mouth full of teddies, jumbo's urinating seems defiant.

Postby chigusa » Sat Mar 24, 10:53 pm

i once saw a richard in the pissoir at the top of the singel, so there is at least one proper dirty bastard in amsterdam.

User avatar
a bollocks
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 5783
Joined: Fri Jan 24, 12:32 am
Location: Not A'dam dam'it..... a traveler, a heart, no woot for you.

Postby a bollocks » Sat Mar 24, 11:56 pm

Tak's bed's good for a piss or two.

Exciting bidet action on the toilet, too.

User avatar
Swin
super power poster
super power poster
Posts: 1388
Joined: Sun May 20, 8:37 pm
Location: Gollem Raamsteeg

Postby Swin » Sun Mar 25, 3:32 pm

chichi123 wrote:I make sure I poo before I leave home. Poo in a pubic loo is horrid.


Me too but if you are away for a week or more it gets to be a bit uncomfortable towards the end

worldcitizen1723
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 4205
Joined: Sat Jul 26, 1:42 am

Postby worldcitizen1723 » Sun Mar 25, 3:54 pm

Swin wrote:
chichi123 wrote:I make sure I poo before I leave home. Poo in a pubic loo is horrid.


Me too but if you are away for a week or more it gets to be a bit uncomfortable towards the end


Jet lag and all, can mess up ones timing : >

User avatar
chichi123
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 9534
Joined: Thu Dec 02, 12:53 am
Location: usa

Postby chichi123 » Sun Mar 25, 4:14 pm

Takes me Approx. 3 days to even pinch one out on vacation.

User avatar
JULIET
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 3938
Joined: Sun Aug 03, 1:34 pm
Location: IVORY TOWER

Postby JULIET » Thu May 03, 5:31 pm

No ones mentioned a houseboat yet!

That aside, funny stuff this is!!!

User avatar
Dazzler
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 15362
Joined: Fri Apr 04, 2:45 pm
Location: Among the six billion.
Contact:

Postby Dazzler » Thu May 03, 7:29 pm

The stylish gentleman who has, for reasons that are purely his own, taken abroad to Amsterdam to endure a period amongst Johnny, or 'Gerrit', Foreigner, is not confronted with an embarrassment of choices when it comes to being taken short of the lavatory. For those thusly inconvenienced in the southern Grachtengordel, there's really only one choice. Simply proceed to the public Bar Americain of the American Hotel in Leidseplein, seat oneself with as much composure as one can muster and ask the waiter for a gimlet. There is, as one might infer from the name of the hotel, a large selection of cocktails on the menu that largely tend towards the vulgar, and far too déclassé for a gentleman of breeding.

When an opportune moment arrives, one must subtly and unostentatiously decamp to the lavatory, returning as promptly as possible.

User avatar
Rudy
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 6136
Joined: Sat Sep 08, 7:43 pm
Location: Outside the Box

Postby Rudy » Thu May 03, 8:16 pm

Sounds like a night I suffered in Nice.
Caught far away from my hotel, with no public facilities anywhere, no bushes, no corners to duck into. My ravaged bladder barely escaped rupturing when I finally ran down to the beach, waded in and relieved myself into the Mediterranean.
Sometimes it does suck to be a tourist.

User avatar
chichi123
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 9534
Joined: Thu Dec 02, 12:53 am
Location: usa

Postby chichi123 » Fri May 04, 12:39 am

I hear Basjoes has excellent graffiti for reading material.

User avatar
des
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 11271
Joined: Mon Dec 01, 12:36 am
Location: The Red Rose County

Postby des » Fri May 04, 1:15 am

The public bog at The Toren is a pretty nice place to crimp off a length of dirty spine!

Gold taps with marble sinks and proper little towels to dry your hands on after you've washed 'em! Their laundry bill must be fuckin' humongous!


Peace, Des.

User avatar
muckypup
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 6977
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2:38 am
Location: United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

Postby muckypup » Thu May 10, 2:39 am

Generous_J wrote:Muckypup, to his credit, has already offered to purchase the domain name.


Indeed. I presently have a Twix and a bag of Nik Naks on offer. Although they're one of those smaller bags out the multi pack.

User avatar
muckypup
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 6977
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2:38 am
Location: United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

Postby muckypup » Thu May 10, 2:45 am

chichi123 wrote:I make sure I poo before I leave home. Poo in a pubic loo is horrid.


Normally I'd agree, but trust me when I assure you that the Kras is a most agreeable experience. Before these gay anti-smoking laws came about (and I still blame Anne) you could settle in there and smoke a spliff whilst pushing out what your latest meal has replaced. They're so quiet and clean, I don't even think a wank would be inappropriate. Had I been a sgnificant number of times since the advent of the smart phone, I think it's highly likely I might have knocked one out in there to my personal collection.

User avatar
chichi123
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 9534
Joined: Thu Dec 02, 12:53 am
Location: usa

Postby chichi123 » Thu May 10, 3:46 am

Jesus I never sit on a public toilet ever. I put tissure first into the water so it doesn't spray up then I hover at a hopefully unspraying distance. I went in one today that had the seat covers on a convayer belt and couldn't be arsed to fuck with it and did the hover act.

This tactic is very healthy for the leg muscles. Once I remember being pregnant and my legs were a quivering like I was a shitting razer blades and suddenly I had to sit. I was mortified and almost in tears. But wtf I lived to tell such a fantastic story.

User avatar
skyhigh420
super poster
super poster
Posts: 832
Joined: Wed Mar 05, 6:47 pm
Location: A smokey haze......in Amsterdam

Postby skyhigh420 » Thu May 10, 4:31 am

chichi123 wrote:Jesus I never sit on a public toilet ever. I put tissure first into the water so it doesn't spray up then I hover at a hopefully unspraying distance. I went in one today that had the seat covers on a convayer belt and couldn't be arsed to fuck with it and did the hover act.

This tactic is very healthy for the leg muscles. Once I remember being pregnant and my legs were a quivering like I was a shitting razer blades and suddenly I had to sit. I was mortified and almost in tears. But wtf I lived to tell such a fantastic story.


your too much. lol
I still don't get the "shit shelf", helps with the splash but thats a whole nother topic.

User avatar
muckypup
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 6977
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2:38 am
Location: United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

Postby muckypup » Fri May 11, 12:16 am

chichi123 wrote:Jesus I never sit on a public toilet ever. I put tissure first into the water so it doesn't spray up then I hover at a hopefully unspraying distance. I went in one today that had the seat covers on a convayer belt and couldn't be arsed to fuck with it and did the hover act.

This tactic is very healthy for the leg muscles. Once I remember being pregnant and my legs were a quivering like I was a shitting razer blades and suddenly I had to sit. I was mortified and almost in tears. But wtf I lived to tell such a fantastic story.


I used to be like that. I got over it by the time I was ten.

User avatar
Dazzler
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 15362
Joined: Fri Apr 04, 2:45 pm
Location: Among the six billion.
Contact:

Postby Dazzler » Sat May 12, 12:43 pm

chichi123 wrote:I lived to tell such a fantastic story.


Will you tell it to us, then?

User avatar
JULIET
mega power poster
mega power poster
Posts: 3938
Joined: Sun Aug 03, 1:34 pm
Location: IVORY TOWER

Postby JULIET » Sun May 13, 1:16 am

chichi123 wrote:Jesus I never sit on a public toilet ever. I put tissure first into the water so it doesn't spray up then I hover at a hopefully unspraying distance...


What happens if you're constipated?


Return to “Amsterdam FAQ”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest